• This has “In Death” series written all over it.

    Everything’s cool in science fiction. Cars can drive themselves, a phone without video is considered what the Nokia 6682 is in today’s cell phone market, everything electronic is also voice activated, and if you read the “In Death” series by J.D. Rob, handguns are banned except in cases where they’re collectors’ items. Whether we want to admit it or not, more and more of science fiction’s staples are showing up in today’s world–so much for us not having an informed culture. This idea looks like it came straight out of the “In Death” series.

    Tobacco kills people. Everyone knows this. So to try and combat that, a company has come up with an electronic cigarette idea (disclosure: I support this article’s political position, even though I 1: don’t smoke and 2: didn’t link it for its political viewpoints). In the series in question, tobacco is either banned or very hard to come by–the author doesn’t actually specify which one it is, but unless you’re among the rich crowds, you probably don’t have access to it in any case. Instead, people are doing, well, exactly what this article describes.

    To the uninitiated, walking into this suburban Toronto bar must look like a throwback to the 1980s. A cloud of what appears to be smoke can be seen hovering over a group at the far end of the establishment. But a quick check of the sense confirms that looks can be deceiving.

    The air is fresh, lacking the pungent aroma of burning tobacco; the eyes aren’t watering with the sting of fresh smoke seeping into the sockets; and instead of ash trays and cigarette packs, the tables are full of small bottles of liquid and other pieces of equipment. On this night, a group of Toronto-area electronic cigarette, or e-cigarette, enthusiasts are getting together for their monthly meet-up.

    Wouldn’t you know, science fiction does serve a purpose. How many more steps now before smokers get to freely comply with another of my political viewpoints–smoke all you want, but keep it to yourself. Oh well, the idea’s still interesting. And that it looks like it came right out of the only actual series I’ve managed to read through and not completely lose my mind makes it both interesting and amusing. Hell, why not? Let’s see where this thing goes.

    , ,
  • Bits of random and chunks of what the fuck is this.

    I’m a little tiny bit more human than I was earlier today, so as a free something type thing, have a thing. There’s a whole crap ton of other shtuff that still has yet to post–it’s coming, promise–and more still I get to add to it, but this should see you through until then. It’s in no particular order, but it is in a list. See? Accomodating and everything.

    • I saw several hundred job ads today, which is a change. So of course, that change has to come with a catch. Because it does that kinda thing. Today’s catch? Every single goddamn one of those ads was completely and entirely in French. I kid you not. I only moved here last year–I shouldn’t be contemplating moving elsewhere. Or should I? You be the judge.
    • I’ve decided. As far as pitchers go, the Bluejays are a jinx. Steve’s probably gonna wonder what the hell I’ve been smoking, but here’s my evidence. And yes, random games from random years is evidence, dammit. First it was Roy’s postseason no-hitter in 2010, while with the Phillies–the freakin’ Phillies, goddammit! And in Detroit yesterday, Justin Verlander came damn close to one. If memory serves, he played quite sucktastically the few times I saw him in a Jays suit. Who the hell is this guy? At least Roy was still good when he was with us–he just became a god after he left. But this? Yeah. Jinx. Has to be. Now hearing arguments to the contrary.
    • It’s the long weekend. Officially the first long weekend of the hot. That means countdown to AC. I suspect sometime this week or next, it shall exist once again in the living room window. Now, the question becomes–do I get completely plastered after putting it up, before putting it up, or while putting it up? Either way, I think there’s booze in my future.
    • Speaking of booze, long weekends and that Steve guy, he’s at it again. Long weekends mean booze, and one or both usually means audio. So he and Carin, of Vomit Comet fame, are obliging. Their first one went damn near an hour. Their second? I have no idea. And they’ve still gotta survive tomorrow and Monday. That hangover’s gonna blow hard, I do believe. Go check ’em out, toss ’em a comment or 5, and–hell, since it’s all over Steve’s twitter anyway–fire a question or few at ’em if you’ve got ’em. Rumor has it they’ll answer anything. Or at least they’ll fake it.

    This is my brain. This is my brain on random. Enjoy. Now, where’d I put that shtuff I was gonna add to the mock list…

    , , , ,
  • More random ODSP questions, answered.

    I think this will be a regular thing. It’s kinda fun. Now, let’s see. To give it its own category eventually?

    May 16 11:38pm: can i get my high school on odsp

    Nope, you’re screwed. Completely. You’re expected to be completely dependent. Can’t very well do that if you’re all educated like–which is what employers actually look for. How dare you upset ODSP’s master plan? Oh, crap–I’d best not let the roommate know. Oh right–he reads the blog. Oh well, I tried.

  • Answering ODSP questions, one search query at a time.

    Since my rather lengthy dealings with ODSP a few years ago, all of which can be read over here, I’ve been seeing more than several searches for things not even closely related to what I was posting about–but definitely related to ODSP. Which reminds me, I really should come at them with round 2 at some point, since Ontario’s ever so lovely government’s been looking to cut costs and all that. Some of these searches are in the form of questions that should probably be directed at these people’s social workers, provided said social workers possess at least a passable level in brain. Since they probably don’t, I’ll take to answeing the random ones here. Because it’s what I do. Like, say, this one.

    May 10 2:57pm: i was hurt in a store, how does it affect my ODSP

    Uh… you’ll get more? Unless your particular social worker’s being as cheap as our premier–well, where it matters, anyway. Then sadly you’re fubar. But don’t worry. It’ll all work out in the end. If your ODSP goes up, so will your hydro bill. And hey look, if your ODSP stays exactly the same, your hydro bill will still go up. See? Everybody wins.

  • This can’t end well. Ottawa wants baseball team 2.0.

    Up until either 2009 or 2010, Ottawa had a minor league baseball team here called the Lynx. They relocated recently, around the same time the Montreal Expos packed up their toys and shuffled off to Washington. You didn’t hear much from that team usually, unless you were 1: watching Ottawa’s A-Channel station or 2: bored enough to attend a game. Very rarely did they make the playoffs, and even then, they didn’t exactly fill the stands. Hence the relocation. Which is still better than what happened to both of Ottawa’s football teams, but I’ve pretty much determined that to be a lost cause. That was the end of pro baseball in Ottawa. Until now. It would seem the city wants to try again, and is coughing up about half of what it’ll cost to renovate the stadium as an insentive–the rest is coming from the company who wants to actually put the team in Ottawa. I’m ordinarily highly enthusiastic about a new sports team coming to the city–especially if the ticket prices are in such a state that they don’t actually cost me 3/4 my grocery money to actually attend a game. But considering the city’s luck with funding/begging sports teams to play here? This can only end badly for everyone involved. On the other hand, this team can at least–hopefully–use the fact they’re not associated with the Phillies as a selling point. That should boost sales.

    ,
  • In which the job market tries my patience. New catch word: trilingual.

    For at least the last few years, even in the private sector Ottawa’s favourite word has been bilingual. And no, sadly, they don’t mean *our* bilingual (*), as much as myself and Shane would really, really love it if they did. Escentially, it means two things.

    By law, it means you must be fully fluent in English and that other, Quebec-centric language. Yeah, that one. Occasionally, it means English and some other language, like for instance, Spannish–who the hell offers official services in Spannish, in Canada? It also means positions I’m otherwise fully qualified for–hello, jobs so damn similar to the one I was booted from in 2008 it’s not funny–become so far above my pay grade it’s almost embarrassing to say so. Yes, I can fix your computer. Yes, I can even take your static HTML-based website (yes, some companies still use those) and turn it into a dynamic, blow your socks off accessible, website in any language and on any platform of your freaking dreams–and probably customize the thing to boot, without knowing a damn thing about the specific ins and outs of that language (go open source technology go). But I can only speak one, much more widely used, language. Yeah, sure I’ll wait for you to call me. What, no call? Oh–you hired the French-speaking guy who has no idea what WordPress or even PHP is. Gotcha. But at least I got this nifty little thanks for coming out letter. I’ll add it to the pile. See, employment insurance folks? I *am* looking for work. Here’s all my “thanks for applying but we don’t want you” emails.

    Folks have stepped up their game in this area now. Where you could get buy if you only survived on two languages, in the last couple weeks I’ve seen a growing number of trilingual positions. Usually, again, the first two are obvious–the legally required ones. But that third, who the hell uses it officially in Canada language–again, usually Spannish–makes itself known. And again, positions I could nail in, say, 2008 or earlier? Yeah, those ones? Thanks for coming, but can you please leave? It’s what lead me to apply for a position completely out of my field, with a company who’s interviewing/hiring practices give me cause for concern–that’s an entry for later.

    Guys. You’ve got a ton of qualified people hanging about. Most of them probably more qualified than me. A few of them even used to work with me–and, at last report, were still looking. Only problem? I can count on one hand how many of them speak two languages, nevermind three. And you’re not even asking for folks who can speak the secondary language some of these people can. That’s just asking for a tool with decent linguistic skills is all that is. And half of them probably still don’t speak *our* second language.

    (*): I speak English, and Clue. Sadly, as far as employable folks go, I’m probably in the minority–at least by legal standards. As far as folks who’re actually employed? That second language is endangered–I’m looking directly at you, Rogers.

    , ,
  • Not a good time to put the customer first, Time Warner.

    Every so often, I’ll find a reason to slag on some company or another for craptacular customer service. Or amazingly failful equipment that requires I be in direct contact with their craptacular customer service. Time Warner has been stepping up efforts to correct that, and put the customer first, lately. Which, I suppose, made for bad times when one of their employees, while at her desk, had the nerve to die on the spot. Not to let an opportunity to extend amazing customer service go to waste, Time Warner insisted a coworker stop CPR on the woman and get back to taking calls. Now that, right there, is awesome customer focus. See, AT&T? If you took that mentality you might not be dead last in most customer related categories. You might be dead last in a couple others, like, say, employee safety, but hey, them’s small potatoes. Just ask TWC.

  • That’s one way to create an Apple fanboy.

    I may not be entirely off base here in figuring I’d be quite loyal, at least in spirit, to the company that unknowingly came up with the perfect way to catch someone I was with cheating. Hell, I might just go out and buy something of theirs just to say thanks–I just wouldn’t risk giving it to the next person I was with, in the event it create a trust issue or two. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if that’s exactly what the unnamed poster on the Mac forums up and did after his wife’s iPhone 4S, which–yes–he bought for her, told on her. On the up side, now you folks who’re with people who have nasty little habbits like, say, leaving their cell phones at home where you can’t track them? Yeah. Have a reason to wonder why. No, I did not just tweak every living and breathing thing with a trust issue who happens to be reading this just a little tiny bit. Promise. Believe me?

  • Twitter, get out of my inbox. Please?

    As anyone who knows me knows, I go through phases where I’m quite attached to my account over on Twitter–after all, it’s slapped right there on the right hand side of the site, if you’re curious. Some of my most entertained moments in recent months happened on Twitter. Some of this blog’s content came from twitter. Some very bad ideas have come from the developers of twitter. In a recent spert of what the buh, they’re floating another one at us–weekly digests of twitter happenings in your email.

    Starting today, you can discover the best of Twitter in a weekly email digest delivered to your inbox. This summary features the most relevant Tweets and stories shared by the people you’re connected to on Twitter.

    Stories feature a design similar to the recently updated Discover tab, emphasizing who shared each story beneath summaries to help you decide which ones matter most to you. Click any headline to finish reading the story, add your take by tweeting directly from the email, and see related Tweets from the people you follow.

    Twitter, I love ya to death. Really. There’s days where it’s completely unhealthy. But, and here’s where you went just a little tiny bit off the beaten path here. I already see the most relevant tweets, at least as far as I’m concerned, on a daily basis. They get snarked at, replied to, retweeted, and occasionally mocked on this blog. They don’t need to be in my inbox–I’ve already read them. Thanks, though. The thought was nice. Just work on the execution and we’ll talk.

  • An offer of a second paycheck, brought to you by a guy who can’t spell.

    Spend 5 minutes surfing this blog. Guaranteed, you’ll find at least one entry in which I’m screaming about the economy, or kicking someone in the teeth for dangling a job in front of me and then running like hell the other way with it. I might be a little tiny bit desperate at times. And then I get one of these emails–and suddenly, all I am is a little bit snickering.

    Let’s be honest, James, most people say they are not satisfied with their job, and yet they drag their butts out of beds every single morning and go to work. Most people say they want a seconds paycheck, but very few actually do something to get one. Most people say they are underpaid, but still they continue to settle for the same pathetic paycheck year after year. Most people will tell you they want a better life for themselves and their families, but how many of them are willing to take the steps necessary to accomplish that?

    If you are not like most people and are truly interested in making a real change for yourself and the ones you love, then you have to read this message like it’s last thing you will ever read in your life, because in as little as 15 minutes you may have a second paycheck mailed to you.

    Every time someone sends one of these, an angel loses her wings. Which might also help to explain a few folks I know but that’s another entry. Still, gotta admire their persistance–this is the second email they’ve sent me. Now, then. About that second paycheck…

recent Posts

Recent Comments

Archives