Email has apparently decided to take a huge ass crap. I’m on MSN, and trying to figure out who I have to ninja kick to get nanswer on email things, but in the meantime… if you’ve emailed me, you may not get responded to as promptly as usual. Which… hasn’t been prompt at all the last couple weeks anyway. I’m on vacation, whatcha want?

ETA: Appropriate tech people have been drop kicked. For the moment, email is again playing nice. God I hope it stays that way…

And now an actual update. Yay substance!

Not that a whole lot really went on since the last time I posted something that wasn’t a link, but y’know. Jessica (samari76) and I are still finding plenty of ways to have all kinds of good times over here. Tuesday it involved a tiny little sellebration here at home of her last test result in class, since the nice little coffee shop we wanted to go to apparently closed an hour earlier than we thought it did. Oops. Although, to be fair, I thought it did but could never really remember. So we just sat around here and cooked something up for foodage.

Wednesday was sort of a personal day of sorts, with us not really doing a whole lot beyond being awake. Mostly because it was just generally all manner of craptastical outside to the point of not really knowing whether or not our rather chaotic weather paterns were coming or going. We did decide, though, that since local weather was being a royal bitch and making it difficult for us to really enjoy ourselves in any kind of relaxing manner outside our own apartment, the first nice day or two we actually came across would be taken full advantage of.

That would be Thursday, and the advantage would be taken with a walk for coffee that couldn’t be obtained the day before, or the night before that. We got ourselves a couple peppermint lattes (she in a moment of insanity got an ice latte, poor girl), and killed pretty close to an hour I’d imagine just sitting outside at the coffee shop talking and the like. We headed it back here, and I made an attempt at getting her computer to play nice with, like, everything while she got herself ready for and wandered on over to class. I eventually managed to convince this thing that yes, in fact, there are other ways of solving problems aside from choking horribly on itself and dying right before my very nonfunctional eyes.

Friday was the sellebration we were planning on having earlier in the week, only we went all out with this one. It started at about 9:00 or so, when we headed to the Cracker Barrel for breakfast. We spent the morning there, stuffed ourselves silly, did a little browsing, then sat outside for about an hour talking while we waited for our lift back home. Once back home, we thought about doing a real quick grocery run seeing as we were running a little low on a few things. And then promptly decided it could bloody well wait, and spent the afternoon fighting with food coma instead. We did manage to recover from that, and both of us were in a mood for Mexican. So, a 25 minute walk later, we were up at the school where Jessica’s taking her massage therapy course (also where she is right now), which has on its downstairs level a quite deliciously awesome mexican place called Selina’s (spelling may be off, but I could care less). An idea roughly of exactly how good the place is: it was packed as hell, to the point where when we did manage to get there (7:30 or so), they were predicting wait times of upwards of an hour and a quarter. We ended up not actually waiting that long, which was good, since we weren’t looking forward to the prospect of it being within eyesight of 11:00 before we found our way back home.

It had been raining a fair bit when we walked up, but we were sort of halfway hoping it’d manage to let up when we were looking to come back. So we weren’t overly concerned about the walk back, seeing as even if it hadn’t really let up, it was still fairly nice out there, rain or not. The food there was, of course, holy fucking awesome. We thought about dessert, but only for maybe about 30 seconds. And instead, we asked for the bill.

The walk back was when things started to get really interesting. Instead of letting up as we’d originally thought it would, it was actually raining a little harder, I think. It had gotten a bit cooler as well, but that was both to be expected and nothing we hadn’t prepared for. Problem is, it kept cooling. All told, by the time we got home, not only was Jess freezing, but I think so was the rain. I don’t think I’ve been out in weather like that, particularly in April, in a very long time. And I could probably stand to go another very long time before doing it again. I don’t mind the cold, but I so wasn’t dressed for freezing rain and possibly snow. Which, according to some friends this morning, is precisely what we were getting hammered with when Jess took off at 8:00 for her all-day clinnic. And by the sounds of things right now, the crap factor outside has yet to do any sort of actual improving.

On the bright side, we did get a lot of things accomplished this past week, including my attempt at installing Freedom Scientific‘s JAWS for Windows screenreader, only to discover neither she nor I realized she was running XP pro. I don’t have an authorization key for XP pro. That plan’s been put on hold until such time as we can price out what it would cost, or… um… otherwise obtain a key for JAWS to run on XP pro. Other than that, though, there was a lot accomplished on a personal front as well. We were kind of using this past week or so as a means of getting to know each other even better than we already do. This relationship thing’s still fairly new to me, so I’m still sort of learning my way around as I go. I’m sure she is too, which probably is what makes it easy. I haven’t the slightest idea what if anything we have planned for tonight, or even if we’re going to make an attempt to bother so much as stepping outside in that mess. But I do know there’s still a thing or 6 we both kind of decided we want to do before I go running off to Ottawa again. So if not today, then definitely at some point this coming week, there will be some kind of hell raised. What that actually translates to on a productivity front is anyone’s guess, but… oh well. So I won’t win any awards. I’ll live.

Do they not follow the rules by now…?

My cousin IMs me, completely at random. Not with a hello, not with how’s it going or have you heard anything about the job yet, but with fix my computer. Um, say that in my other ear? IM exerpt editted for readability only, because his spelling is absolutely made of epic fail.

him: i got a question about my computer  
me: call the manufacturer.  
him: thanks  
me: np. lol  
him: i would buy a new one but they cost money  
me: heh.  
him: i would get a new one but they cost $$$$  
me: yeah.  
him: do you know how to set it back to factory setting   
him: or wipe it  
me: it depends on the model. i’ve never actually done it myself, since the factory settings are usually what i’m trying to get the hell away from  
him: ok  
him: its running slower then hell and it keeps crashing saying hard were problem   
me: then whiping it probably won’t be a whole lot of help. call the manufacturer.  
him: i’ll go there on monday and see how much $ it will cost  
him: thanks 

Dood. *Not* tech support for $company. Your computer was made by $company. $company knows how to reset the bloody thing. $company has the ability to replace whatever component is fried or frying. And, $company has people who get paid to listen to you whine in that unreadable way you do. Why the hell are you asking me? Thank you for wasting 10 minutes of time I could have been spending doing anything else. No love, your irate older cousin.

PS: You had to know I was going to tell you to call $company anyway. I’ve been saying that since you got the damn machine. You, sir, fail at life.


I am apparently not getting LJ comments all of a sudden. This as of… some point this morning. So if you leave something and it doesn’t get responded to, I probably didn’t see it. Prod me on IM, or in email, or something (it’s all over here). I’m not sure whether to beat my mail provider or LJ, but everything else is coming through, so methinks I’ll start with LJ.

The slow, painful death of a router.

So, as hinted at in my birthday post, the last couple days I’ve been having some rather clunky interwebs related difficulties. Yes, again. The first time I had issues, it ended up being my 2 or 3-month-old modem (which I did end up replacing, by the way), and now it turns out to be my 5-year-old router, instead. One of the old D-Link models that was discontinued about a year or two ago. It isn’t as bad as the modem’s issues were; I don’t have to futz with unplugging and plugging it back in every half an hour. But it’s taken to random fits of kicking me off the internet (Yes, Rox’e (pawpower4me), Lauren (chickwith_stick), and everyone else on my MSN list who also stumbles across my LJ, that’s why I seem to be signing in and out every 10 minutes or so). I thought it might have been the modem doing funky things again, and actually, so did Jessica (samari76), who noticed it when she was trying to talk to me via IM before work. But according to the modem, it’s been up for a little bit over a day, which is about how long it’s been since I’d pulled the plug on it for other reasons. The router, however, shows logs as if it had just been powered on about the same time I was last given the royal boot off the net. So, in the span of about 5 minutes I’d established that we are in fact dealing with a bum D-Link. Rather than hum and haw over what to replace it with, I threw a question at the mailing list I’m on for Freedom Scientific’s JAWS for Windows, then went about the business of getting my hands on one of these. Unfortunately, it may or may not be here before the end of the week. But, it’s definitely hopefully God please tell me it will be on its way over here. Which means, roughly speaking, my less than stable internet connection won’t be for long. Now, I just hope it doesn’t crap out on me completely.

Awe fucking some.

Cross-posted to arinoch and techsupport.

This post Puts me in mind of my year and a half working for Dell. I spent most of it working nights, and my manager just so happened to be about as blatantly honest as they come. To agents, to customers, whatever. If you’re a complete fucking moron, he’d call you a complete fucking moron. And if you were a customer, he’d do it in such a way you had absolutely no idea you were just called a complete fucking moron. We had a couple folks on our team with definite middle-eastern accents. One of these guys happened to be Lebonese, I believe. So anyway, enough background.

About 3:30 EST on a Saturday night, when you’d think most people would either be sleeping or getting absolutely smashed rather than trying to fix their computer so they can go back to their porn, we just so happened to be getting completely and totally slammed. There was all of 1 person on average not on a call for probably the better part of 2 hours. At about that time, the Lebonese dood happened to be that guy. He sat like right behind me, so I got pretty much a front row seat to what went on. This New York sounding dood calls up, and for obvious reasons, ends up talking to mister Lebonese. Except he’d really rather not. No sooner does the guy get halfway through “thank you for calling Dell” does the guy hang up. Couple seconds later, he calls back. Gets the same agent. Hangs up again. This time, he at least has the good sense to wait a minute or two. Then again, he calls back. Third time’s a charm. The guy behind me gets the call again, and yet again the caller drops it.

Now, by this time I’ve got the customer I’m working with restarting his computer, so I mute the thing, and call over my manager. I give him the 30-second run down on what’s going on, manager dood tells the agent to hand over his headset for a sec. We’re laying bets at this point he’s moronic enough to try it again. And sure enough, no sooner does the manager get the headset on then this guy calls in again. This time, manager dood goes through our thanks for calling opening. Customer then goes into about a 2 or 3 minute “thank God I finally got someone who speaks English” shpeel here. Manager mutes the phone, looks over at me and just sort of giggles a little. If anyone’s worked with this guy for any period of time, you just know he’s mentally taking notes, and as soon as customer dood comes up for air, he’s gonna be nailed to the wall. The manager just so happened to be black, and Louisiana born. So in other words, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone more American sounding in that call center. Customer finally stops yapping long enough for my manager to get a word in, and he ever so politely advises him that he is, in fact, not a tech support person (he’s technical, but they didn’t pay him to fix customers’ shit… that’s what we’re for), he’s a supervisor. Customer’s all “I don’t care, I’m just glad you speak my language.”

Caller then tries to get my manager to fix his problem anyway. Finally, after about another 15 minutes or so of back and forth, this happens. “Okay, sir, I’m gonna stop you, right there. No, just stop talking for a second. Now, here’s what’s happening. We’re incredibly busy tonight. The agent you just hung up on 4 times is the only one we’ve got not on a call right now. So, your choices are this. You can let him fix your problem so you can enjoy the rest of your night, or you can hang up right now and call back in the morning. If you call back tonight, you’re gonna be talking to me again. And if we have to have this conversation a second time, I’ll note in your account that you’ve repeatedly called in to and hung up on our agents, and you won’t be getting support from anyone. The choice is yours, and I’ll even give you a couple seconds to make it.”

The manager didn’t say a thing after that. He just handed it back to my coworker, and his problem was solved like 10 minutes later. And for like the next week, we all took turns immitating this idiot out of extreme boredom (Saturday was apparently fix your computer day that month, it was dead for the rest of the week). Sometimes, the stuff that goes on even manages to surprise me. And that doesn’t happen often.

Why I would never survive NaBloPoMo.

I can barely post twice consecutively in a week, never mind for the month of November. So anyone who had visions of me participating (which would make, what, one of you?), sorry. But if I can get over it, surely you can too.

In completely unrelated news, last weekend was way way awesome. Friday was spent hanging at Trish’s place for the evening, doing absolutely squat. Shooting the shit, and barbecuing burgers, which were rather thoroughly enjoyed. I got back in time to talk for a bit with Jessica (samari76), as per usual, and then promptly fell right the hell into bed. Saturday was rainy, a little chilly, and a lot lazy. Until later that evening, when Trish, her husband and I kicked it to Absolute Comety for what should have been an awesome time. It actually wasn’t all that bad, all told. We ended up seeing Kevin Gasior, Tod Van Allen”> (odd, google didn’t bring this up on the proper spelling of his name… stupid search engine), and Frank Spadone, who were actually pretty good. Though we all kinda decided the first two were better than Frank, who sadly was our headliner. Ah well, whatcha gonna do? We only had maybe two complaints about the whole night, which isn’t really all that bad, considering what could have gone wrong and didn’t. The place was jam packed beyond fucking belief, to the point where you were afraid to sneeze lest you twitch the wrong way and smack the guy behind you in the back of the head. And you didn’t dare have to go to the bathroom, as doing so would have required at least 3 other people needing to get up and out of your way just so you could leave your seat. So the smart majority either tried real hard to go before the show started, or waited until after when they could breathe again. Still, all in all it wasn’t that bad for $12.

Sunday was pretty much a lazy day, spent either relaxing or talking to Jess. The rest of the week was pretty much devoted to job hunting. And coming up empty, I might add. I fired off a few more applications to temp agencies, but so far they haven’t called me back either. Go figure. Yesterday was pretty much written off with large thanks to the headache from hell, which I’ll still trade you your sniffles for, Caroline (kittytech)! And today, well. Unless you count sorting out the biggest tangle of Linux updates *ever*, it was pretty well close to boring as hell. But, y’know. That’s me. Job hunting will continue later on tonight, probably after I get back from Trish’s place (we’re doing that halloween thing tonight, and she’s decided to pick me up in about half an hour or so. So I’d better get me dressed. Cell phone won’t be on my person, as it’s deader than dead and I’m not looking for the charger.

Technical support rules, the dummy’s version.

… And if any of you actually take these rules seriously, I will personally show up at your front door and drop your computer on top of your head. Twice. 😛

When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers,
bowling trophies and children’s art. We don’t have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

Don’t write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

When an I.T. person says he’s coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won’t be there when we need your password. It’s nothing for us to remember
700 screen saver passwords.

When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what’s keeping you from getting it. We don’t need to know that you can’t get into your mail because
your computer won’t power up at all.

When I.T. support sends you e-mail marked “high priority”, delete it at once. We’re just testing.

When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

When the photocopier doesn’t work, call computer support. There’s electronics in it.

When you’re getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call computer support. We’re collectors.

When something’s wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person’s chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a

When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don’t have cartridges in them, contradict us. We love a good argument.

When an I.T. person tells you that he’ll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: “And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?” THAT motivates

When the printer won’t print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

When the printer still won’t print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

Don’t learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by “My thingy blew up”.

Don’t use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have
20kg of computer sitting on top of them.

If the space bar on your keyboard doesn’t work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and
nail clippings in them.

When you get a message saying “Are you sure?” click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren’t sure, you wouldn’t be doing it, would you?

When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up. We don’t have any
money to speak of anyway.

Feel perfectly free to say things like “I don’t know nothing about that computer stuff”. We don’t mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise
referred to as stuff.

When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call I.T. support – hanging a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard
recommends, that it be only performed by a professional engineer, with a master’s degree in nuclear physics.

When something’s the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who
doesn’t know anything about the problem.

When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We’ve got lots of disk space on that mail server.

Don’t even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the queue.

When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company. People like to keep abreast of what’s going on.

When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.

Don’t bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.

When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office, leave the documentation at home. We’ll find all the settings and drivers somewhere.

My headache, let me share it.

Welp, the internet connectivity problems of the past couple days continued yesterday. I spent 3 hours and a bit fighting with it yesterday morning, got it connected, and after making a phone call and flexing my newly reconnected interwebs for a couple hours, I shuffled off to bed. When next I woke up, guess what wasn’t playing nice, yet again? I had no interwebs. The rat bastard modem had dropped the ball for the 5 billionth time. I’d do my usual thing of powercycle, kill the router, plug directly into the modem, and try the web interface. Notta. Then I’d powercycle it again, restart the computer, and I’d have a connection. I’d reconfigure the modem as, yet again, it had forgotten my settings (by the way, another tech support person told me powercycling won’t result in losing my settings–well, shouldn’t, anyway–and as evidenced by the fact it hasn’t before, I’m inclined to believe him), and I’d be connected. For… 10 minutes, or less. So after placing another call in to TekSavvy, and telling them everything I’ve already done to try and fix the problem on this end (trying to factory reset a Speed Touch 516 is queen bitch, just FYI), they agreed with me this modem’s on the borderline of being finished. So, I’ll probably spend most of my time offline except for instances wherein I can get this modem to cooperate with me, at least until I can get my hands on a replacement. I’m told it shouldn’t be longer than a week, but we know how courier companies are. And I *think* they use Purolator, so God only knows. But at least the problem’s been nailed down. Now I’m just afraid to go to sleep lest this damn thing fall sideways on me again. Ah well, I’ve just run out of caffeine so sleep it is. If I suddenly don’t show up online and I’m needed, people have my phone numbers. Those that don’t, cope or ask someone that does.

The thing about tech support: you’re never *really* done.

A sign of just how eventful my week’s been; this is pretty much the only thing of any real significance, since I’m still waiting on things like, you know, job applications to come to fruition (I’ll post more on that tomorrow, or later on tonight). I did my usual thing of late, that being staying up until whenever o’clock in the morning instead of going to bed, well, when most normal people would consider going to bed. When I did decide to finally crash, I did so for maybe an hour or so. Got up, futzed around for a bit, then fended off the mother’s insistent demands that I absolutely must go to Pembroke next weekend. And then sat down to do my usual routine of check email, laugh at email, reply to the occasional one, then cruise the flist. Except no internet. Checked on my various TV show downloads, no connection. Went into the other room and futzed with the router for a bit, notta. Powercycled both modem *and* router, she still no worky. Well fuck, my first official TekSavvy outage. And what craptastic timing.

So I call them up, somewhat reluctantly (I’m still used to Bell’s tech support. Sue me.), and turns out it’s a known issue with the modem that when powercycled, it loses the configuration settings and needs to be set up again. Well fuck, again. At least these guys have a clue what they’re talking about, anyway. About 20 minutes later on my slower than the second coming laptop, we had us a newly reconfigured modem. Another 30 seconds and I was back online. For… 45 minutes. Further investigation revealed it had decided, yet again, to forget my settings. And this time it wasn’t because I powercycled. Well fuck, and fuck again. I didn’t wanna do anything productive tonight anyway.

So while on the phone with someone because, well, I likes me some damn good conversation and she usually provides an awesome one, we get to talking about music. It gets to a song she hasn’t heard that I figure she’ll find absofuckinglutely hillarious, and then I’m reminded. Duh, moron, you can has no internets. Which meant another 20 minutes because, to demonstrate my utter lack of preparedness for chrisis situations, I’d turned off my slow as hell laptop in favour of the much faster beast in the living room, which I’m using now, and which is conveniently nowhere in ethernet cable range of the craptastical modem. Clearly I was on some serious crack when I planned the layout of this network. Needless to say it managed to be fixed a second time, and it *looks* like the temporary bout of amnesia we were fighting has apparently subsided. Or at least has gone on a hopefully permanent vacation. I did learn something from all this, though. Speedtouch modems, or at least ones of this particular model, are absolute crap, and should be set on fire. *After* a suitable replacement is located.


I got up at about 6:10, was promptly stuck to my bed (not due to lazyness for a change!), and then came into work to find out somebody I had call a customer back lastnight pretty much reversed everything I’d already done and did it his way. Needless to say today is not looking all too off to such a wonderfully glorious start. On the bright side, at 11:30 ISH or so I get free food! They’re throwing a thanks for coming out bbq today, so I officially didn’t necessarily have to pack anything. I did, though, ‘cuz well, I’m an idiot. Or maybe just because everyone needs an afternoon snack. Or… something.

Oh, and random PS: Environment Canada, if Ottawa gets one more thunderstorm watch this week and no thunderstorm, I’m gonna raise some serious hell. Or, hey, can we settle for rain at least? I’m not entirely demanding…


On the bright side, I can’t say it’s exactly been busy today. On the other hand… see subject line. Since I still can’t put the call I just got off of into words, I’m just gonna say this. It would take a hell of a lot less time to fix your computer if you’d stop interupting me every 5 minutes to vent about how you’ve been waiting 5 days already and don’t have time to wait anymore to have your computer fixed. Oh, my american friends, why do you mingle with such moronity?

I should stop having such conversations.

So the last couple days, for whatever reason, the topic of people’s entitlement issues, be they disabled or otherwise, came up in conversations that were had with samari76. Reasons they should not be had on such a frequent basis: I got the ultimate entitlement call this morning. Warning: technical terminology follows. I am not defining it.

Ordinarily I don’t bother to post crap that goes on here in great detail on here because really, it’s not worth mentioning. But this one, ohmygod. For the blind/visually impaired folks on my list, if you thought the entitlement issues had by some of us were huge, this one’ll floor ya. Girl calls in, has had a few things replaced on her system already. A HD, a motherboard, her memory. System’s about 2 years old so yeah, stuff’s gonna start to go whacky. The guy she talked to like a month ago decided he’d be an idiot, and tell her she’s entitled to a system exchange if something else on that system fails. Not a very inteligent thing to say to a customer like this; you’ll see why momentarily.

Fast forward to today. She calls in because she can’t get into Windows. Says she gets a black screen that tells her to hit f1 to continue. That’s pretty much all the last technician she spoke to put in his case notes, anyway. So he futzed around with it, and decided that she can’t get into Windows because her CD drives are done. At this point, he gets half credit; the CD drives *were* toast. But as it turned out after she escentially got pissy and was sent to me for a system exchange (why he didn’t try putting it through on his own is beyond me, other than it’d never get approved), not her actual issue. All it was was pretty much chicky was too fucking lazy to press f1. So to shut her up, I ended up going into the bios and escentially telling the computer not to look for anything atached to the ports her CD-ROMs were atached to. Poof. Instant ability to boot into Windows. Root cause of the issue? User failure.

And now, I go write up that work order to have her CD-ROMs replaced. Why must most people possess an IQ lower than 3…?

A real quick update, in list format.

Because I’ve got a grand total of 10 minutes.

  • It may just be me, and the fact my tolerence for pain of various types being insanely high, but the suicide wings from Local Heroes didn’t really have a whole lot to them. Not that the people from work I went with would agree with me.
  • I’ve discovered why it is my two microphones don’t like this computer. There’s an issue somewhere between sound card and OS. I suspect strongly the sound card is to blame. Dell will be receiving a phone call.
  • Dell *did* receive a phone call earlier, but now Bell Canada has graduated from randomly kicking me off the internets to apparently randomly disconnecting me during phone calls, and not allowing me to call out for extended periods. And since I only had half an hour to twist a technician’s arm into replacing my sound card, I shall have to take another crack at it tonight. Technology sucks.
  • It’s the middle of freaking May. And we’re getting a potential frost warning. I see a problem here. Do you?

And now, I go to work. This batch of randomness brought to you by too goddamn early.

Note to self: do not try troubleshooting the intarwebz at 5:00 in the morning.

Unless you’re already very familiar with the brand of modem you’re troubleshooting. Sadly, I am forced to admit at the moment, I’m not. So setting up the new modem will wait until tonight, when I’ve had a chance to read up on it and figure out how the hell to cold reset the sucker so it can actually be useable. In the meantime, someone had been repeatedly urging me to grab some sleep and I have been ignoring her. I shall correct that now, for all of… half an hour.