By law, it means you must be fully fluent in English and that other, Quebec-centric language. Yeah, that one. Occasionally, it means English and some other language, like for instance, Spannish–who the hell offers official services in Spannish, in Canada? It also means positions I’m otherwise fully qualified for–hello, jobs so damn similar to the one I was booted from in 2008 it’s not funny–become so far above my pay grade it’s almost embarrassing to say so. Yes, I can fix your computer. Yes, I can even take your static HTML-based website (yes, some companies still use those) and turn it into a dynamic, blow your socks off accessible, website in any language and on any platform of your freaking dreams–and probably customize the thing to boot, without knowing a damn thing about the specific ins and outs of that language (go open source technology go). But I can only speak one, much more widely used, language. Yeah, sure I’ll wait for you to call me. What, no call? Oh–you hired the French-speaking guy who has no idea what WordPress or even PHP is. Gotcha. But at least I got this nifty little thanks for coming out letter. I’ll add it to the pile. See, employment insurance folks? I *am* looking for work. Here’s all my “thanks for applying but we don’t want you” emails.

Folks have stepped up their game in this area now. Where you could get buy if you only survived on two languages, in the last couple weeks I’ve seen a growing number of trilingual positions. Usually, again, the first two are obvious–the legally required ones. But that third, who the hell uses it officially in Canada language–again, usually Spannish–makes itself known. And again, positions I could nail in, say, 2008 or earlier? Yeah, those ones? Thanks for coming, but can you please leave? It’s what lead me to apply for a position completely out of my field, with a company who’s interviewing/hiring practices give me cause for concern–that’s an entry for later.

Guys. You’ve got a ton of qualified people hanging about. Most of them probably more qualified than me. A few of them even used to work with me–and, at last report, were still looking. Only problem? I can count on one hand how many of them speak two languages, nevermind three. And you’re not even asking for folks who can speak the secondary language some of these people can. That’s just asking for a tool with decent linguistic skills is all that is. And half of them probably still don’t speak *our* second language.

(*): I speak English, and Clue. Sadly, as far as employable folks go, I’m probably in the minority–at least by legal standards. As far as folks who’re actually employed? That second language is endangered–I’m looking directly at you, Rogers.

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The Ottawa bylaw request is still pending–and will be followed up with on Monday, first thing (somebody should probably remind me). There will also be an open letter in the near future, addressed to the Ottawa Sun, Capital Taxi, and in true James open letter format, posted to this blog. Hopefully, that open letter will include the name and relevant information of this mysterious driver, identified only by a number |(cab number 637). In the meantime, local readers are strongly advised to stay as far away from Capital Taxi as humanly possible. If left with no other option besides Capital Taxi, local readers are encouraged to put off what needs doing until another option who isn’t Capital Taxi presents itself. Capital Taxi, you have just lost my business. And I’m only just getting warmed up.

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1. Random, most-of-the-day walks that take up more distance than most people could see themselves walking and still being healthy
2. Stops along said walks to occasionally collect random bits of random, in photo form



3. Popping into random specialty stores just to see what they’ve got on for cheap that’s semi-original (hint: there’s a crap ton)
4. Yet more walks, with yet more photoworks, with yet more scenery



5. Yard sales–every second weekend, on every second block
6. Random crap picked up at said yard sales, for cheap–like my new coffee table (it’s on wheels)
• Or the old coffee table, which doubles as a temporary TV stand (it cost me a dollar, 5 years ago)
7. Grocery shopping, sans the actual shopping–hey, I’m lazy, and I hate shopping
8. Milano Pizzeria–no, seriously, if you must have pizza, you must have Milano
9. And oh yeah, yet more photoworks



10. And I guess that whole employment thing doesn’t hurt, once I figure out what that is

If that’s a week in Ottawa, no freaking wonder the previous 2.5 years just kinda sailed by at warp speed. I know this much about Ottawa on my second time around, at least–I’ll definitely get back in shape. Now, then. Where’d I put the rest of my to-do list?

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Where to start. Big news in the nowheresville household, we had our eye on a larger apartment and moving back to Ottawa. Well, back to Ottawa for me–Shane has never actually had the good fortune of living there, specificly. So we had the apartment lined up–the lady showing it to us had us sold within the first 10 minutes. We filled out the application. Then, we sat around here and waited. The application ended up not going through, which made things very interesting–note to readers, if you’re looking to make a major move like this and you’ve already gone ahead and set things in motion to have services moved/activated on your moving day, watch out for that quick 180. It’s real hard to hit the off switch when they come back and say you can’t actually have the apartment. Or maybe that’s just a Rogers thing–anything’s possible. We ran into that problem when the phone call came in that we didn’t actually land the apartment. We have a pretty good idea *why* we didn’t land the apartment, and while yeah it sucks, we know for next time. Too bad, too–it was a wicked awesome apartment.

Fortunately, since we look for bright sides on this here blog when we can, the apartment falling through means it doesn’t complicate our return from yet more planned events in the past two weeks. Shane had originally planned to drop in on his girlfriend at the beginning of February, but situations ended up coming up that sort of necessitated he be down there now. I’m still on schedule for bothering Jessica, who has actually managed to update her blog more than once this month, at the beginning of the month as initially planned. We were originally going to come back from our respective vacations on the second of March and promptly pack the place up for moving, but now we have a little bit of flexibility re: when we come back, just in case things decide that falling sideways while we’re down there is the order of the day. It also gives me a bit more time, if necessary, to help Jess with her own move at the end of February without having to worry about shooting back up here for mine. And, since I like not being attached to a deadline, I can presently put a questionmark on my return date–we shall have to see how things play out.

The fun doesn’t stop there, however. In list format, with explanatory posts to come when I have more brain power. Because presently, this caffeine thing isn’t working for me anymore.

• Life decides at the worst possible time to throw one hell of a curve ball. We got smacked with one this past weekend–and are still recovering. Which reminds me, I need to move a few more things over to the replacement external HD.
• Related: Hey Dell? You can ship Shane’s laptop any freaking time, now. Seriously.
• Those guys from Toronto actually one a game or two. That should be posted about before I forget. Again.
• Sadly, they also lost a shitload. That, I wish I could forget about posting about.

Related: Mixed in with the last couple weeks’ fun helping of funness were multiple large doses of snow. And yes, an extra side order of snow. I’m selling it for cheap. Want some? Please?

Now, let’s see how many of these hockey posts I can crank out before I go fall over. And later today, or tomorrow, a metric ton of mockery. No, I’m not kidding. I’m looking at two pages of blog material over here. And now I actually have time to post it. This might get very unpretty.

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Related: Have a random video. Embedding is apparently not an option–the rat bastards–so have this instead. Go Sens go! And take the Canadians with you.

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Now, granted I don’t know what the transit situation’s like in Calgary, but if it’s anything like Ottawa, the cab driver’s probably your best friend after about 11 in some places, 1:00 everywhere else. Or, if you’d prefer, no bus fair plus no driver’s license equals no real choice–whichever you rather. And you probably already have to get creative to be able to aford to get yourself home from work after the place closes down at 1:00 in the morning–oh yeah, that was fun. Really. And along comes a “late ride fee” of an indeterminate amount to be slapped on your bill along with whatever’s charged on the meter? Yeah, I think not.

Calgary, if you’re smart, you’ll give this idea a second thought. Then promptly toss it under the bus where it belongs. Ottawa, for the love of chese, pretend you don’t actually see this idea. Trust me, it’s not a very good one. Now if only that served to convince me you wouldn’t go on ahead and run with it. What I wouldn’t do for a 9:00-5:00 job now.

PS: This could also serve as a kick in the ass to make OC Transpo 24/7. Also not holding my breath on *that* idea, but it wouldn’t hurt.

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Related: If this person’s the same one I’m thinking of, I kinda wondered what happened to her. Now, I know. Thanks, 1310, for that if nothing else.

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Just a bit ago, we were treated to a very impressive 20 minutes of freezing rain in Pembroke. I got to run outside with a couple dogs for the tail end of it–lucky, lucky me. And then, just to screw with us, Environment Canada has decided hey, tomorrow we get to see April-style weather. Bright side: minimal actual preparation before going outside. Not so bright side: consistency, let’s have some.

Yeah, you guessed it. I got nothin’. So have a random local weather related blog post instead. More content tomorrow. Or not.

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The roommate situation has kind of pushed forward the necessity of looking for a new apartment. Because, really, while this works, I’m not quite so mean as to restrict him to the coutch for the foreseeable future. Particularly given he’s probably just about as likely to have a significant guest show up over here as I am. The coutch, while folding out and quite comfortable, is probably not conducive to, well, much of anything beyond sleeping. I’ve been looking for a bigger place the last week or so as a result, and have come to a very not quite surprising realization. Finding an apartment that doesn’t generally suck, have craptastic heating, or fit rather easily into this one is pretty near to impossible–at least in Pembroke. Which may mean our financial creativity will probably end up taking us back to Ottawa. Good, ish. Except for that part where the rent in Ottawa was what sent me all the way over here in the first place. Fortunately, the only deadlines we have are how long we can keep this whole creativity thing going. And the only restrictions we have location-wise really depends on whether or not, and where, one or both of us may end up working when we decide to move. In the meantime, hey, I like this kind of adventure.

As for where one or both of us may be working, it’s pretty much certain I’m probably not going to be working at Online Support after all. You may or may not recall I was waiting for questions to be answered, and paperwork to be processed before I could start over there. And oh yeah, Freedom Scientific‘s JAWS for Windows program so I could actually, you know, use their computer and know what it’s yelling at me. It took a little longer than I expected, but the ball’s finally rolling on the purchase of the screenreader–give or take the time it takes me to drop kick certain answers from certain individuals, I should have a copy that runs on windows 7 professional by the end of the month. Problem being now, though? Online Support hasn’t responded to me since a day or two after I wrote that last entry. The guy I’m dealing with from Ontario’s second career program has been trying to get a shot at them as well and hasn’t gotten anywhere. I’m leaning very much in the direction of just writing off the company. except for the fact they’re pretty much the only thread that hasn’t snapped off completely over here–yet. I’ve always suspected if I did end up employed again, it would probably be somewhere that isn’t Pembroke. This is kind of lending a bit more support to that suspicion.

Things are definitely happening, and in a quickly kind of way. But they’re definitely happening. And in a couple weeks, it’ll be nearly four years since the last time I developed a roommate–no better time to snap that streak. Or something. And just in time for that, we’re lining things up for a goodly portion of insanity. In other words, just another day in the life of me. I think I need a new one.

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Flash forward another few months. I get two more emails, in the span of two weeks. They both get replied to, with the same request. All goes quiet, so I figure this time, it worked. Flash forward to late in 2009. I’ve moved out of Ottawa by this point. The first of the emails re: actually doing something with Lansdowne Park besides stare at it come across my desk–for the record, the project was brought up in the media in late 2008. Once again, emails get replied to–this time, with the added note that I’m no longer living in Ottawa and would really like to not have to resort to technical methods of blocking these emails. All goes quiet, until municipal election talk starts up. Then, emails start coming to me from Doucet’s election-related mailbox. This one, thank Christ, has an unsubscribe option. I made very quick use of it. Then, I wrote this entry. I didn’t hear anything more from “Clive Doucet for Mayor”, at least.

Flash forward to today. I was introduced this morning to yet another mailing from Doucet’s city of Ottawa mailbox. And, surprise of surprises, it’s back to discussing the Lansdowne project–which they really can’t be doing much about until the new council takes over in December anyway. Also surprise of surprises, this one doesn’t have an unsubscribe option. Time for yet another reply to a soon to be former councillor.

Another small note to Clive. I already opted out–multiple times–of both your mailing lists. That’s usually an indication I don’t want to be emailed. Please, for the love of everything good and all that, say no to spam. We still don’t like opt-out mailing lists.

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• Andrew Hayden: spending most of the debate picking at the other candidates, and interjecting his 0.5 cents where it’s not welcome–like, say, when someone else is supposed to have the floor. Go away, Andrew.
• Clive Doucet: Pro-LRT, anti-tunnel, no idea what he’ll do with municipal taxes to compensate–or if he knows, he sure as hell isn’t saying. Also: Really? You’ll criticise O’Brien on how he handled the OC Transpo strike, but you’ll give me the stink eye for criticising the same? And yeah, I’m still not a fan of spam. You go somewhere else, too. Just not the same place as Andy–I don’t think he likes you. Or anyone.
• Jim Watson/Larry O’Brien: Where’s the difference? One taxed us municipally, one taxed us provincially. Both are pro-LRT, pro-tunnel, anti-clue. And they spent the debate sniping back and forth at each other more than Andrew Hayden did at any of them. But aside from the fact Watson actually answered a question re: how much the LRT system would cost, whereas Larry well, um, did the exact opposite, they look very much the same to me.

I asked the candidates in the debate to maybe knock off the bickering and actually answer the questions being asked. I don’t particularly think they came close to doing that. If I didn’t one day plan to rmove back to the city, I might be inclined to view this more comically. As it is, though? I think I’m actually kind of scared. That’s not an easy accomplishment. Nice work, guys.

PS: Andy, the biggest criticism we had about Larry O’Brien is he wouldn’t work with city council. You didn’t even work with the moderators of the debate. You fail. That is all.

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As of this morning, Ottawa’s Oldies1310 moves to change that–and its format. As of probably right about now, Oldies1310 in Ottawa officially becomes 1310News. Now maybe hell will freeze and I can get one or both of these stations on Shaw Direct. Hey, it could happen.

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In what can only be described as a rallying cry for more support, affordable housing advocates from across Ottawa came together Thursday to call on municipal council and mayoral candidates to commit to funding more social housing.

The numbers are pretty simple: $15 million annually for the next 10 years to help build 10,000 affordable housing units. That will help get the 10,000 families on the social housing waiting list into homes.

Folks, you’re being freed from having to fund ODSP payments out of your own pocket. I’m not even sure why Ontario felt the need to force the municipality to pay for it to begin with–so that’s why we’ve been getting the shaft lately–what with it being called the Ontario disability Support Program, but that’s why I’m not in politics. Now that Ontario’s finally taking back the costs for doing so from the city, do those of us who’re on the list a huge favour. Build something useful–like, you know, housing units that don’t take up 80% of the check just on rent alone. That’d be awesome.

Seriously, you need to do this. There’s no such thing as a good job in Pembroke, and no such thing as a cheap apartment in Ottawa. And hey, at least then you’re only paying to potentially house the guy from this court case. That has to be a cheaper alternative.

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I sent one, maybe two emails to councillor Doucet in early 2009, as a direct response to the fact OC Transpo had been dragging the bus strike out and making it nearly as political as some of the crap that came out of the house of commons. The response I got to that email was, pretty much, a politically correct version of “Go screw yourself”, and a reminder that the wicked evil cruel union wouldn’t be pushing the city around if he could help it. I pretty much wrote him off as an ass–even if he was one of the two people who actually did get back to me (the other was a form letter that pretty much said they’d look into it).

That was pretty much the end of my exchange with Ottawa city councillors in general and Doucet in particular. Flash forward to the start of the municipal campaign runs. I get up, go through my morning routine, and the very first email that shows up in my inbox? a newsletter from “Clive Doucet for mayor”. Flash forward again to tonight. I wrote that off as a simple mistake–he doesn’t strike me as very tech savvy, honestly–none of them do, really, but him in particular. Tonight when I got in, I was treated to another newsletter from “Clive Doucet for mayor”. This one, at least, came with an unsubscribe link–the last one didn’t exactly have one.

Hey, Clive? I emailed you a year and a half ago. At most twice. How does that translate to I want to receive advertisements or what have you from you? Most particularly after I no longer live in the city you fully intend to handle I’m sure with the same positively charming touch you demonstrated during our brief conversation. Tell you what. Nobody likes opt-out mailing lists. Particularly from charismatic individuals such as yourself. On the up side, at least you’ve given me a solid reason to avoid emailing you from anything other than a throw-away address from this point. Thanks for that, at least. Now, please, set your spam on fire. I’d appreciate that very much.

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As it stands now, provided they do actually end up locking out, I might be able to get as far as Toronto on the ticket I just purchased. As for getting me past Toronto? Well, that may require some degree of creativity.

Greyhound, you and I have been getting along famously this trip–I didn’t even have to fight with you over the purchase of my ticket for a bloody change. You do not want to start in with this crap now. Really, you don’t. So by all means, don’t. That would be awesome.

Also: What is it with bus services out of Ontario? OC Transpo was talking not too long ago about a lockout at the next contract negotiation, too. Really? Did we learn nothing from the 08-09 bus strike? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Update: Yeah, I thought so. Greyhound, if this happens, please find yourself a nice big fire and die in it. Thanks.

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