Welcome to Nowhere

Dear landlord: why in the name of everything did you wait until *now* to tell me the bank decided I’m too poor to pay my rent? I understand the banks are generally run by morons with approximately half the IQ of my biggest pimple, but I honestly expected something resembling inteligence from you folks. It’s friday. You’re barely open past lunch tomorrow. The bank is probably barely open past lunch tomorrow. You want me to pay you ZOMG naow plz. Oh, yeah, and you send me a letter stating so, dated today, telling me to call superintendant lady like right bloody now or else. Except she’s not working until tomorrow. And barely past lunch time. Again I say, what. the. fuck? Words cannot describe the level of stupid this just blew right on past. They can’t. You fail.

No love,
Me.

Dear RBC: Die. Die die die. I am not broke. I was not broke on the second of the month, when they tried to cash my rent check. I am even more not broke now, because my rent check, for reasons beyond my comprehension, decided to bounce. So why, pray tell, did you tell my landlord upon trying to cash my rent check that I’m broke? I fail to understand the mentality here. Or maybe you fail at making sense. I mean, I love that you’ve escentially given me more money with which to play, but next time, can it please please pretty please not come from that which you should be giving to people with the power to kick me out of my apartment? Urg. I’d say you should be shot, but that would be a waste of a perfectly good bullet.

Die in a goddamn grease fire,
Me.

Siiiigh. My headache, let me share it.

ETA: Going to collect money order tonight. Still want to drop kick somebody.