$15 quadrillion, or the cell phone gets it.

I’ve seen–and, er, been responsible for–some wicked high cell phone bills. Mostly back in the days before unlimited northamerican long distance was a thing. And, uh, once when I moved and subsequently didn’t have internets for a few days. Oops. But it’s pretty safe to say none of my cell phone bills, on their own anyway, ever added up to approximately the amount required to bail out a solar system. Solenne San Jose, on the other hand, could probably do it twice with hers. She was originally told she’d be charged a termination fee for killing her contract before it was supposed to die, but what amounts to a breakdown in communications–and, quite probably, a bit of morons disease on the part of the phone company–meant the US could very easily stop borrowing from China and take out a “please save our asses” loan from Bouygues Telecom. They sorted it out, and the actual bill–after the curing of the afore mentioned morons disease–was at a much more reasonable, if still not entirely proportional, sub-$200 US. Or, in other words, John Q. Citizen’s monthly visa payment. Sorry, France. Looks like you’ll still be taxing the royal begeses outa the moderately wealthy. Oh, and, enter the snicker-worthy. The bill that would save the universe? Yeah, ’twas in France. The things they’ll do for a little budget balancing. Suddenly, the $1000 I legit worked up just doesn’t seem like quite so much fun.

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