I have this nasty little habbit of trying to find an up side to most situations–particularly situations that seem to centre around me and my current, shall we say, life related stresses. Jessica and I were actually talking about that during our all-night session of playing cards last night, and I’ve come to a sort of decision. This particular trait? Yeah, it pisses people off.
I always get questions from folks about what will I do if x, y and/or z happens, aren’t I worried about this thing, how do I handle that other thing. My typical answer to most of those particular questions? This is life. I have no control over it. Fussing around with it’s not gonna do anything more than give me a series of small heart attacks, so I just can’t see spending the time. Stuff doesn’t bother me like it does most people, probably for that very reason–I really can’t be bothered with it.
Yes, losing my job at Dell in 2008 kind of sucked. But a month later, I was in a relationship. Yeah, leaving Ottawa wasn’t exactly a highlight of my day. But, I’m close enough to do things like have a Christmas with my family with a minimal amount of inconvenience factor. Would I go back to Ottawa? Would I go back to working at Dell if they reopened and offered me my job back? Sure. But since that’s not exactly very likely, thinking about it and getting all uppity over it isn’t gonna do a damn thing. Instead, I’m trying to get my foot in the door at the local branch of Algonquin College. I’m still looking for work. I’m spending time with the nephew when I can. And I’m enjoying this new being engaged thing. That keeps me busy enough.
I could choose to have time to stress out about it. I could choose to make the time to consider the fact my bank account’s heading in the wrong direction. And I could probably make the time to have a small panic attack about it at least monthly. But why? Even if I did, I’m still unemployed. I’m still steadily getting slowly closer to broke. Flipping my lid over it won’t make me any less of either. Not flipping my lid over it won’t do it either, but it’s just so much easier–and, well, I’m lazy.
Much of people’s reactions are fairly predictable. They either don’t believe me, are confused for a few minutes, or end up getting irritated/pissed at me because this kinda thing doesn’t bother me. I can’t seem to wrap my head around why that is–although, granted, I also haven’t exactly been trying very hard. All I really know is I have absolutely no shortage of what I like to call realistic optimism. And, inexplicably, my positivity pisses people off. But, I’ve also come to another, slightly related decision just while writing this post. I won’t be finding or making the time to worry about that, either. Which, also, may end up pissing someone off. In a couple words, oh well.