• I saw several hundred job ads today, which is a change. So of course, that change has to come with a catch. Because it does that kinda thing. Today’s catch? Every single goddamn one of those ads was completely and entirely in French. I kid you not. I only moved here last year–I shouldn’t be contemplating moving elsewhere. Or should I? You be the judge.
• I’ve decided. As far as pitchers go, the Bluejays are a jinx. Steve’s probably gonna wonder what the hell I’ve been smoking, but here’s my evidence. And yes, random games from random years is evidence, dammit. First it was Roy’s postseason no-hitter in 2010, while with the Phillies–the freakin’ Phillies, goddammit! And in Detroit yesterday, Justin Verlander came damn close to one. If memory serves, he played quite sucktastically the few times I saw him in a Jays suit. Who the hell is this guy? At least Roy was still good when he was with us–he just became a god after he left. But this? Yeah. Jinx. Has to be. Now hearing arguments to the contrary.
• It’s the long weekend. Officially the first long weekend of the hot. That means countdown to AC. I suspect sometime this week or next, it shall exist once again in the living room window. Now, the question becomes–do I get completely plastered after putting it up, before putting it up, or while putting it up? Either way, I think there’s booze in my future.
• Speaking of booze, long weekends and that Steve guy, he’s at it again. Long weekends mean booze, and one or both usually means audio. So he and Carin, of Vomit Comet fame, are obliging. Their first one went damn near an hour. Their second? I have no idea. And they’ve still gotta survive tomorrow and Monday. That hangover’s gonna blow hard, I do believe. Go check ‘em out, toss ‘em a comment or 5, and–hell, since it’s all over Steve’s twitter anyway–fire a question or few at ‘em if you’ve got ‘em. Rumor has it they’ll answer anything. Or at least they’ll fake it.

This is my brain. This is my brain on random. Enjoy. Now, where’d I put that shtuff I was gonna add to the mock list…

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May 16 11:38pm: can i get my high school on odsp

Nope, you’re screwed. Completely. You’re expected to be completely dependent. Can’t very well do that if you’re all educated like–which is what employers actually look for. How dare you upset ODSP’s master plan? Oh, crap–I’d best not let the roommate know. Oh right–he reads the blog. Oh well, I tried.

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May 10 2:57pm: i was hurt in a store, how does it affect my ODSP

Uh… you’ll get more? Unless your particular social worker’s being as cheap as our premier–well, where it matters, anyway. Then sadly you’re fubar. But don’t worry. It’ll all work out in the end. If your ODSP goes up, so will your hydro bill. And hey look, if your ODSP stays exactly the same, your hydro bill will still go up. See? Everybody wins.

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Oct 16 7:42am: please explain occupy protests

We’ve been trying. No, really. We have. All it’s gotten us is a kick in the nads. But hey, feel free.

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1. Was 2011 a good year for you?
It was an okay year, employment situation notwithstanding. I can’t eally complain, overall. Relationship issues tended to cause a small problem, but those have been kind of put to bed, now.

2. What was your favourite moment of the year?
Moving back to Ottawa. There’s just so, so, so much more to offer here than Pembroke/Petawawa. Love the town, don’t love the lack of anything that can be done without use of a vehicle.

Personal events that took place over a large part of the summer–things I won’t be putting up here any time in the near future, but things that, we’ll say, lead me to sort of suspect things wouldn’t be the same after. And, well, I was right. We’ll leave that at that.

4. What are your plans for 2012?
Same as they’ve always been. Try and find work, maybe put a little money aside. Get back into doing this more often–complete with the usual mockery and other such breaky type things. Oh, yeah, and get used to this apartment. The awesome still slaps me in the face and I’ve been here now for 7 months.

5. What countries did you visit?
Just the US, and sadly, only did that once–I hate being broke/poor. Stayed around the home front otherwise.

6. What date in 2011 will remain etched in your memory?
August 19.

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not going completely, foodstamps broke. That took some creative nifty.

8. What was your biggest failure?
Not entirely a me thing, but not landing any kind of work, which was the reason for moving to Ottawa in the first place. Still, can’t complain–well, can, and will, but probably shouldn’t.

9. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Thankfully, no. I’m probably the only one in my family who hasn’t on some level this year.

10. What was the best thing you bought?
The laptop–from which this thinggy type thing is being now written. Hey, it’s come in handy.

11. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
She knows who she is. I’m not in the business of naming names–besides, that’s kind of been put to bed now, it looks like. Have fun, by the way.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Wo wait I had money? Most of the money I’m told I have went to, and still goes to, bills. That’ll probably never change. Hello, ODSP.

13. What did you get really really really excited about?
An apartment we ended up not actually moving into when we moved to Ottawa–but very nearly! Huge ass building, laundry rooms on every floor, vending machines, a pool–and oh yeah, our mutual friend in recovery has her eye on the same one–now all she needs is money. Or a roommate. Hey, anyone in the Ottawa area interested?

14. What songs will always remind you of 2011?
Too many to list, but a song that will always stand out to me is “I Won’t Let Go” by Rascal Flatts. I saw them in concert in the beginning of the year. In my book, that puts them up there with Garth and BNL–especially considering the concert was damn near as good.

15. Compared to this time last year are you:
a) Fatter or thinner? Probably thinner. I could walk more this year–and did! Hello, getting places! Christmas dinner probably erased most of that, but you’ll have that.
b) Happier or sadder? Happier, I’d say. Not enthused about being unemployed, but still, life’s good.
c) Richer or poorer? About the same. Maybe slightly poorer. Again, hello, ODSP.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Remember conversations either in person or on the phone that would have you awake until 4:00 AM? Yeah those. Those were awesome. ‘Nuff said?

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Getting stressed about the job market. It’ll fix itself, or not, when it wants to. In the meantime, there’s booze.

18. How will you be spending Christmas?
Spent it at the parents’. Om nom nom coma. Wake me up when newyears gets here.

19. Which LJ/MySpace users did you meet for the first time?
That would be Jessica. And Candi. And, uh, I think that’s it–I dunno. Ended up engaged to Jessica. Not bad for online.

20. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I was already there. Might not hurt to gie it a shot in 2012, though. Or maybe 2013.

21. How many one night stands?
None. Although, if my 2012 2013 plans don’t work out–see previous question, you just never know.

22. What was your favourite TV show?
Not a fair question. all my *favourite* TV shows stopped running before 2011. Although, if CSI ever improves…

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Probably should, but no. Too much goddamned effort. Besides, I’ve always believed–we all get ours. I don’t have to bother.

24. What was/were the best books you read?
I’m hute into the “In Death” series. So, yeah, any book from that series. Including the two released in 2011–go read. Now. No, seriously. Stop reading this, go read those books, then come back to this. I’m not joking.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I didn’t make any real major ones in 2011. Unless you count the Blake Shelton version of “Footloose”. Yeah, I don’t either. Good song, but no. However, it will make the blog, now that I’m back to blogging.

26. What did you want and get?
A laptop. And apparently, the patience to survive a whole lotta small town stupid. Don’t ask me how.

27. What did you want and not get?
A decent paying job. Or hell, a job at all. Yeah, I know, stand in line.

28. What was your favourite film this year?
I wasn’t overly impressed by the selection this year. Most of them were meh, with one or two that just plain outright sucked hard.

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I had a low key birthday. Not a whole lot went down over here–unless you count spending part of it fighting to migrate the blog and a few other domains away from a web host with a rather itchy trigger finger–but you’ll have that. oH, AND THE REST OF IT TURNING 28.

30. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
Being able to say I accomplished more by moving to Ottawa than just changing my mailing address. Still, that’s a start, I guess.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Same as I would in 2010, and will in 2012. If it fits, it works. Everything else is negotiable.

32. What kept you sane?
What the hell is sane?

33. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
Can’t say I had one. Most of ‘em were too busy getting divorced, married, and divorced again. If I wanna see that, I have relatives.

34. Which political issue stirred you the most?
Like most up here, I paid attention when the NDP became official opposition. Jack Layton’s death only 3 months later is the kind of stuff political drama novels and movies are made of. I mocked him a time or six on this thing, but really, there was something to him. And there might be that same something to the common theory that his not being here now is what’s probably going to lead to the NDP getting bumped off the front benches in next election. Unless the party pulls off a small leadership miracle.

35. Who did you miss?
Can’t say there was anyone really. A few people I didn’t talk to much and probably should have, but we aren’t all that close anyway–otherwise I would have.

36. Did you treat somebody badly in 2011?
Not that I can think of, but I’ve been told I don’t think all that much.

37. Did somebody treat you badly in 2011?
Probably. I never had the energy to really care.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
Drama still sucks. When your situation is mostly drama, you’re in the wrong situation. Get the fuck out. Now.

And there you go. A year end thinggy before my year end thinggy. Yay and whatnot. Now, about pizza, booze, caffeine etc. Now taking suggestions.

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Oct 9 10:42am: who hands out clean crack pipes in Vancouver

That’s exactly the question I asked a few weeks ago. Who in their right mind? Although, speaking of right mind, I hope that search wasn’t to point our querier in the general direction of a source…

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Consider this when planning your next family function. It could be a huge success. Or it could flop. We here at WTN take no responsibility for either–but we *will* take your barely entertaining recordings.

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Aug 9 1:14pm: fuck the job market

Thought it, multiple times. Said it, probably a few more times than that. Like I told someone yesterday–yes, the economy up here is better than in other places. But, less craptastic is still pretty fucking craptastic. And around these parts? It’s still pretty fucking craptastic. So yeah, by all means. Fuck the job market.

Aug 13 11:55am: free porn

No bloody idea what you were looking for when you ended up here, but I seriously hope you found it. And I seriously hope it wasn’t a spam comment that slipped through the cracks–that would suck just a tiny bit. Just, please, remember to wipe your screen.

Aug 14 12:20am: Famhly porn

I… um… don’t want to know. No, seriously. Who’s family? No wait, don’t answer.

Oct 3 11:52pm: why is it illegal to download tv shows if you have cable

A very, very, very good question. And one I still haven’t found an answer to. I’ve already written a novel on that particular topic, part of which folks are still finding of interest, but I’ve yet to hear an actual, honest to goodness solid explanation for it–other than the typical $billions in lost sales claim that’s been disproven 6 ways from Sunday. But, I’m still open to an actual explanation… if anyone’s got one.

Yeah, clearly I need to do this more often. Consider that a note to self.

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A lot of reconnecting was done, and plenty of amusing fun was the result. She came in on Friday, and we went to Pembroke right from the station for my aunt and uncle’s 25th anniversary. We were able to introduce her to more of my extended family who, as I suspected, strongly approved. A ton of fun was had, alcohol–the bar variety–was consumed and dancing was done. Afterwards, it was back to Ottawa and the awesome waiting there.

Monday was getting Jessica used to the place, since she hadm’t been here before. Tuesday was our first official show on Mojo Radio, in preparation for something we’ve been working on for a few months. We test our usual setup for such things in a week or two if all goes well. Wednesday was more relaxing, and getting ready for Thursday.

One of the things Jessica wanted to get done was to meet up with a local friend of ours–you may know him as Blind Bandit. So we did the least recommended thing and mixed that with booze. The result? Posted on Shane’s blog and not fit for public consumption. Friday was more relaxing, and today, we sadly have to return her.

The week wasn’t all party and insanity, though. Sjhe cane up to belatedly wish me a happy birthday. And, in so doing, might have just removed my biggest–or, at least, second biggest–knock against the iPhone. I’ve been saying the thing needed a dedicated, physical keyboard since before I got one, and nearly screaming it after. Because she has that whole listening thing down to an art, she went and picked one up for my birthday. Hence, this post is being finished while on the road. I’ll write a review of this thing when I get home. As for now, I should probably go say goodbye to my girlfriend.

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Jul 20 9:05pm: will odsp try to employ me or just pay me

Don’t we all wish. Sadly, neither ODSP or the CNIB will do much for employment up here–despite the insistence by some folks in these parts that they do, or should. ODSP barely pays you, actually–thus, making it very nearly impossible to do much that vaguely resembles being financially, er, stable. Now, then, if that ever changes, I’ll probably be first in line up here. But, hello, sucky economy. It ain’t changin’ anytime soon. Sorry, random person from I think Google. You’re in the same boat I’m in. No wonder it’s barely floatin’.

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Jul 16 2am: greyhound pissed me off

Oh, yes, yes they did. And occasionally, still do. It really and truely deserves its own category.

Now. Where’d I put that popular posts thinggy from, oh, 2 weeks ago?

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Bastides stone – Provence
If this message does not display correctly, click here.
 
 
 
 
 
PROVENCE (Gard Provençal)
 
Close to Uzes, OPUS Development offers
This stone country farmhouse of 150 m2 habitable with
swimming pool, terrace and large Mediterranean garden of 1200 m2.
 
Panoramic view of the plain of the Duchy of Uzès. Aspect South.
 
20 minutes from the TGV station and 30 minutes from the airport of Nimes.
 
Contact us at: + 33 (0) 4 67 60 63 76
 
 
 
 
Land Development | Property Development
OPUS Development SARL
4, rue de la Bourse Treasurers – 34000 Montpellier
Tel: + 33 (0) 4 67 60 63 76 – Fax: + 33 (0) 4 67 60 72 04
 
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According to the law “and Freedoms” of January 6, 1978, you have the right to access, modify, rectify and delete data concerning you.
To unsubscribe, click here.

Tell you what. I’ll trade you this wicked little apartment in Ottawa I know of…

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Jul 13 6:49pm: how many times do you get rejected by odsp before getting the pension

Sounds like someone’s had worse luck with ODSP than I have. And I’ve had some luck.

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Jun 14 11:03pm: calling in sick for hockey game

I will openly admit to having unknowingly done exactly that. And hey look, we even won. Yeah, I’ll admit to having called in sick for a game. And I won’t lose any sleep over doing so. Don’t ask me to try hat after a loss, hough.

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From: Quigley, Jim [Jim.Quigley@canadorec.on.ca]
Sent: Sun 12/06/2011 8:01 PM
To: info@webmail.com
Subject: System Administration?

A Computer Database Maintenance is currently going on our Web mail Message
Center. Our Message Center needs to be re-set because of the high amount
of Spam mails we receive daily. A Quarantine Maintenance will help us
prevent this everyday dilemma.
To re-validate your mailbox please Click below: CLICK HERE

Failure to re-validate your mailbox will render your e-mail in-active from
our database.
Thanks
System Administrator

Uh oh. I’d better go fix my official-looking email account. Yeah, that one. The one I don’t actually have. Nice try, though, kids. It was 30 seconds of amusement.

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So, arinoch, your LiveJournal reveals…

You are… 3% unique (blame, for example, your interest in being blatantly honest), 16% peculiar, 41% interesting, 9% normal and 31% herdlike (partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy writing). When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are keen to please. Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is conventional.

Your overall weirdness is: 25

(The average level of weirdness is: 28.
You are weirder than 57% of other LJers.)

Find out what your weirdness level is!

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Jun 6 1:25am: what you can really get out of odsp

Besides a good screwing over? Good question. Tell you what–I’ll let you know just as soon as I find out. Deal? Deal.

Jun 6 2:12am: how much is the GST in Ontario for a single man on O,D.S.P.

It’s HST this year–thanks, Dalton–and I don’t think the numbers have been thrown at us as of yet. I wait with bated breath, though. Not that it isn’t already spoken for or anything. Really.

Clearly, I need more sleep. Or more caffeine. Hmmm. Well, I’ve already tried for more sleep and that didn’t work. Where’d I stick the coffee pot?

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Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore,a list of 18 New and Innovative ‘TRY SAYING’ phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.

Number 2 TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She’s a f___ing bit__.

Number 3 TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this by?

Number 4 TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible. INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5 TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6 TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with… INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7 TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f___ing problem.

Number 8 TRY SAYING: That’s interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9 TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won’t work.

Number 10 TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn’t you tell me sooner?

Number 11 TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues… INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.

Number 12 TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13 TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14 TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment. INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I’m on salary.

Number 15 TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16 TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD O F: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17 TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18 TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive. INSTEAD OF: He’s a pr_ck.

Thank You, Human Resources

Clearly, the individual who came up with these is in need of additional taskings. Or, in english, has too much f_ing time on his hands.

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Verb or Noun: Small sound that is emitted through the nose and mouth, usually a compressed laugh or snort. Often accompanied with a small grin, smirk, or
sneer. Usually a tone of either derision, (as when someone says something you find stupid) or innocent humor. (When someone tells you a funny joke and
you are busy doing something else, so a full-fledged laugh is difficult.)Nice to use behind other’s backs, as when they do something inanely stupid and
you can’t help but laugh about it, but don’t want to fall over laughing.
Holding my lunchtray in one hand and balancing my fork, I snerked as Caroline delivered the punchline of the dead baby joke.

When the girl in front of me pointed at the Mustang and said, “Oh, I like that Camaro.”, I had to snerk discreetly.

There. Now, when next I’m seen somewhere *snerk*ing at some random bit of brainless, don’t ask what the hell *snerk* is. Just join in. Trust me, it’s way more fun.

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May 25 11:15am: ODSP how can I spend it?

Oh, my poor unwitting searcher. Let me count the ways. Let’s see. first, you find an apartment in the middle of nowhere to attempt to call home. Then, you pay the nearly 50% of your maximum entitled income on rent–before luxuries like, say, electricity or phone service (which they don’t count as a necessity anyway, cheap buggers). Or maybe that’s just how I did it. For my next random search-inspired blog post, possibly, how to *save* your ODSP–the screw you over version.

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May 22 11:10pm: open letter to my headache

Good idea, random US googler. Hey, I already got a semi-decent start on it with the two-centence-long mini-letter at the end of this post. I’m heading somewhere.

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