Either the 21st century’s slowing down, or copyright law’s finally starting to speed up south of the border. Jailbreaking your iPhone or equivalent may break your warranty with the manufacturer, but as of now, it won’t break the law. Almost makes me want to move to the US and get an iPhone. Apparently, this also works for unlocking your smartphone in order to move it to another carrier. Which is still technically against copyright law up here. You taking notes, Tony Clement? You’d better be.

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This month’s conservative conspiracy features the scrapping of the mandatory filling out of the long form census, to be replaced by an entirely voluntary filling out of same–my personal second choice, only to getting rid of the census entirely in all forms. And, of course, it wouldn’t be a conservative conspiracy without various media outlets and statistics organizations–most of which probably have their own methods for obtaining exactly the same information–calling it one. So what makes this a conservative conspiracy? the US already did it. And many of the reasons for the decision to at least give it a try? Yep, much the same as the anti-census reasons up here–mostly to do with privacy, etc. And the result?

Statistics Canada has said it can’t quite predict what the impact on the data will be, but the United States experiment might be instructive.

When a percentage of Americans were given the choice of filling out the national survey, the mail-back response rate dropped by a third.

And as some in Canada have warned about the impact on the long census, the response rates among certain groups became too low for reliable information. For example, the proportion of completed surveys dropped to about 20 per cent for blacks and Hispanics.

If folks are given a choice whether or not to fill out a government survey, they might actually decide not to–particularly if the offending survey asks questions that both they already have the answer to and aren’t really any of their business even if they didn’t. Who knew? And of course, because it was tried and they didn’t get a result they liked in the US, and they had the nerve to do so while George Bush was still in office, it gets branded a US/Canadian conservative conspiracy. Now, admittedly, I have absolutely no idea how information collection works in the US, but being as I go through at least the minimum every year, I’m quite familiar with how it works in Canada–or, at least, how it works for someone in my current position.

• Your current location for purposes of demographics is registered on just about every piece of municipal, provincial and federal paperwork you’ve ever in your life had to fill out.
• Your aboriginal status, where applicable, is registered–if you so choose–when you file your income taxes.
• That status is additionally registered if you choose to apply for your aboriginal status card.
• Your disability, if any, is registered–also at your choosing–when you file your income taxes.
• Additionally, at least in Ontario, you are registered as having a disability if you apply for and are accepted into the Ontario Disability Support Program (ODSP).
• In either case re: disability, medical proof must be documented with the overseeing government body before the appropriate forms–be they income tax or ODSP application–are signed off on by the ones doing the processing (I had a personal run-in with this catch a couple years ago).
• The government, through the Canada Revenue Agency, can usually–unless you’re doing something to try and sneak a little more money into your bank account and a little less into the government’s–get a pretty decent handle on your employment history, income history, duration of employment, how long you spent on employment insurance, how long you spent on any disability pensions/social assistance/welfare programs, how long you spent not doing much of anything (technically, even if your income is 0 you should still be filing taxes).
• Your race/ethnicity is also registered upon the issuing of a birth certificate, and presumedly when you’re filling out paperwork for immigrating to Canada, though considering the government is now looking at reviewing its hiring practices probably after this incident (Look out; it’s another conservative conspiracy!) involving someone being denied the chance to apply due to not being aboriginal or a member of a visible minority, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that’s probably not going to be quite as relevant.

Okay, so all that aside, why a volunteer long census? Or, because I’d prefer this option, why scrap the census entirely? The answer to both questions is really pretty close to the same, and is actually two-fold. The first and, for me, most important answer is we’re simply not all willing to cough up information many people consider to be personal/private information–yes, even if in most cases the government escentially already has that information. Attached to that is, as mentioned above–although I can’t speak for anyone else, from my perspective I don’t see the need in repeatedly handing over the same information to which the government already has access through one department or another. The second answer is a little more simple than that–some of the questions asked really don’t make a whole lot of sense, anyway. What difference is it to the government how many bedrooms there are in the house? And who’s definition of ‘bedroom’ are we using–just because the house is built as a three-bedroom doesn’t actually mean they’re all being used as bedrooms. Are they considering a special subsidy for families with 4 people and only 2 bedrooms?

Let’s take the discussion a step further, and let’s assume the Harper government had moved instead to discard the census entirely, not unlike the current European trend. Would the same groups be up in arms demanding the decision be reversed? Even if, for instance, they’d taken a page out of Britain’s–or even Sweden’s playbook instead?

Sweden, Norway, Finland and Denmark all use registry-based systems to track citizens from birth to death.

While the Scandinavian countries use central registries and periodic surveys to collect data on the population, Britain is looking at cancelling its census outright after the next survey in 2011.

Britain has taken a census every 10 years since 1801 with an exception for 1941 during the Second World War. The decision in Britain is partly driven by budgetary concerns but also due to concerns over accuracy.

Rather than a national headcount, Britain is looking for ways to gather data from existing public and private databases.

Would the various organizations supposedly dependant on statistics revealed by the census be just as up in arms about an outright cancelation of the census, whether or not it was replaced with the approach taken in either Sweden or Britain? Why, or why not? If privacy was a concern, then I could see bringing in a system as detailed as that used in Norway posing an issue. But, were the census to hit the pavement next year and a system not unlike that proposed by Britain–gaining access to the exact same data, or close to it, from other public and private facilities–put in place instead, would there be this much opposition to it? What’s the difference, really?

While admittedly, I’d personally love to see an outright cancelation of the census, realisticly that’s not about to happen. Instead, I’m happy with the census–at least the long form–being made voluntary. If you don’t have a problem with filling it out, then by all means do so. I don’t have a problem with you filling it out either. But all 3 levels of government already demand I hand over most of this information to them in one or another way, shape or form. And I do so, with no argument whatsoever. The government should then not have the authority to 1: force me to provide, yet again, all the same information and then some to which they already have all the access they could possibly want/need, and 2: put me in jail for declining to provide the government with information to which they already have all the access they could possibly want/need. And if that means making the long form census voluntary, then yes, let’s have a voluntary long form. If the ideal number of people end up not filling it out, then let’s look for alternative sources for that information–the public and private sector both have plenty. And for crying out loud, let’s try and stop comparing everything that goes on up here to what went on, or is going on, in the US. That tactic hasn’t really worked since the 2006 election.

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For all the screaming and crying about a lack of abortion funding in Canada’s family planning proposal, looks like that group that’s about set to clog up most of Toronto has finally reached what you could call an eleventh hour agreement. And, surprise surprise, they agreed with Canada. Well, sort of.

Meanwhile, Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s maternal health plan will get the green light from the world’s most powerful economies, despite earlier criticism from family planning advocates who complained that no specific funds were allocated for abortion.

Instead, the G20-funded project will allow each nation to allocate the funds as they wish, which opens the door for abortion funding by countries which deem it necessary, Fife reported.

“Each nation will develop their own plans,” he said Thursday night, adding that Canada will pump $1 billion into the plan.

Hey, if the G20 adopted an attitude like that about other things–hello, stimulous versus cutbacks–we’d actually have something resembling progress going on here. And less of a need for the G20. Okay, file that under “when hell freezes”. Next?

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No matter what you’re opinion of Canada’s twentieth prime minister, you have to admit, the man’s got a huge point when it comes to giving Quebec its own special snowflake status within Canada’s constitution.

“The first time around, it didn’t pass and it didn’t change much,” he said. “The second time it did pass, and it didn’t change much either. Add them together, we talked a lot and not much changed.”

Kind of makes you wonder what certain folks are smoking, thinking the third time around will change a whole lot else, doesn’t it? Someone really should make sure the Bloc Quebecois gets that memo. Hey, Jean? I think I found a new job for you. Call me for details.

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Canada’s parliament. Also known as that place where the country’s future–and sometimes present–are decided almost overnight. Sometimes. Or, rather, that place that inevitably takes me back to my highschool days. Really, now. this? In Ottawa? Really?

The remainder of question period was notable mostly for the insults. “Sit down, you clown!” a voice from the Liberal ranks bellowed at Conservative minister John Baird. “Kiss and make up!” a Conservative taunted Liberal Denis Coderre, who is still on the outs with party leadership.

You know it’s bad when folks from overseas feel way too familiar watching from the sidelines.

Dorjee said she has watched India’s parliamentarians in action on TV, and pronounced it “quite similar” to the Canadian version.

“I guess this is how it’s done,” she said with a slight grimace.

If anyone else has questions re: the lack of voter turnout for elections, might I suggest they ask our local parliamentarians. Or, if they want a straight answer, Ms. Dorjee. In the meantime, anyone wanna play “Whack an MP”?

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Uh. What?

The international community should brace for another referendum on Quebec sovereignty that will finally allow the province to become a country, said Bloc Quebecois Leader Gilles Duceppe in a newly released letter that was distributed around the world.

Have they forgotten 1995′s affects already? Quebec decided–albeit barely–not to separate during that thing they called a referendum. Meanwhile the rest of Canada was just kind of hoping they’d make up their mind and stick to it. And Gilles Duceppe wants to reopen that can again? Okay, so I wasn’t old enough to care one way or another in 1995. I am now. And for my part, if it’ll shut up the Bloc Quebecois, by all means–have another referendum. And vote yes. I wouldn’t mind it if half the jobs I was trying to get into lost their bilingualism requirement, personally. Then disband the BQ, and let’s get back to something resembling the functioning of an actual, honest to goodness normal country. Since the opposition won’t let us just make it illegal for a party who’s sole purpose is to break up the country exist federally, I suppose that’s the best we can settle for. Hey, I’m not picky. Oh, by the way. A tiny note to the separatist movement. If you go, you get to take your share of the national debt with you. Have fun.

PS: Really, Gilles? Airing our really, really old, dirty laundry out for all the world to see? Really? I thought you were better than that. Well, okay, I didn’t. But you should be.

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I thought it might be more of an advantage having folks with a hint of tech savvy thinking working on Canada’s answer to copyright legislation demands being tossed at us from the US and other countries. turns out, not so much.

Industry Minister Tony Clement says cracking down on people who break “digital locks” on DVDs and video games brings Canada in line with many countries, despite criticism from Internet experts.

So, let me kind of see if I can’t maybe wrap my head around this one. Copying CD’s to your computer, to then put them on your iPod, is not illegal under the new bill. Purchasing music online to then put on your iPod is not illegal. So long as the said music from either source isn’t protected by DRM. Which escentially means we’re going to start seeing more companies employing DRM in order to prevent folks from copying, now that they have legal backing up here to do so. In spite of the fact DRM only ever actually makes things worse for people who actually *do* want to pay for it. Nice thinking, Tony.

With the appropriate props given to the originating blog, I explained my theory behind tactics like that as it applies to TV. The same can easily be expanded to music. I want to be able to listen to an album I obtain where, when and how I choose. Why? Because if I legally purchased it, it’s legally mine to do with as I see fit. The copyright bill as it stands right now escentially grants record labels the freedom to decide, simply by including DRM on a purchased CD, that by law I’m not allowed to do so. Hence, it’s then off to another illegal realm–I either break the digital lock on the CD, pay for yet another copy to put on my MP3 player, or just to have on my computer, or obtain the album the not so legal way via torrents. Which do you think I’m gonna pick? And I haven’t even addressed the case of an album only ever having maybe 1 or 2 good songs on it, but you’re still required to cough up $20 for the whole thing.

It was no doubt a common practice pre-internet for folks to copy a tape, or part of one, for a friend/family member. Or, for folks to copy songs off the radio onto tape for themselves. I’ve done both, and had both done for me–so have doubtless many others. With the advent of the internet and file sharing, that’s kind of the natural progression of that same practice. Under both the old and new copyright legislation, that practice–in spite of the fact it predates the internet–would still be rendered illegal. I’m pretty sure there are folks in government on both sides of the issue who’ve done the same thing I have. I’d lay odds minister Clement is one of them. I guessed as much already, and questioned whether or not he’d begin to see file sharing as it stands right now as a natural progression of that habbit. Given his viewpoint on this particular bill as it stands right now, my money’s on not likely.

In spite of statements etc up until this week that were shying away from the kind of copyright legislation being challenged in various forms on the other side of the border, Tony Clement still doesn’t quite get it. It’s sad, but I can’t help but wonder if anyone’s surprised. For about thirty seconds, I admit, I was. Now? I’ll be surprised if he switches.

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Canada’s industry minister, Tony Clement, has finally come clean on what everyone and their dog already knows. His iPod, which he’s had since 2006, is chock full of music he legally wouldn’t be allowed under current copyright legislation to put there, regardless to the fact he owns those same songs on CD. Even James Moore, who’s on the entirely wrong side of the new copyright legislation, has finally admitted he’s already broken it with purchase of a DVR.

Mr. Clement, stickhandling the copyright file for the Conservative government along with Heritage Minister James Moore, is poised to introduce new copyright legislation within days. But until the law is updated to permit Canadians to transfer music onto MP3 players from CDs they have purchased, Mr. Clement stands on the wrong side of Canada’s copyright law.

“Well you see, you know I think I have to admit it probably runs afoul of the current law because the current law does not allow you to shift formats. So the fact of the matter is I have compact discs that I’ve transferred, I have compact discs from my children or my wife that I’ve transferred onto my iPod. None of that is allowable under the current regime,” Mr. Clement, a music buff who also legally purchases songs from iTunes to build a digital database that now stands at 10,452 songs.

“It shows that the current regime is not realistic and is not modern to encompass how people obtain their entertainment in today’s world,” said Mr. Clement, calling the current law “antiquated.”

“That’s what happens in a family. You do tend to share music that way and I think most people would find that to be perfectly acceptable behaviour. But our current law is so antiquated, it doesn’t contemplate that situation.”

Good lad. Now, let’s see if his partner in crime’s learned anything.

Mr. Moore, meanwhile, admitted to reporters last year he, too, ran afoul of the copyright law as an early adopter of the PVR. A spokesman on Wednesday said Mr. Moore was not immediately available to clarify whether any of the songs on his iPod put him offside of the law.

Gonna assume the answer is a resounding yes, otherwise he might not be quite so inclined to take the silent route. Now, if we can just convince these two fine gentlemen to admit they’ve copied tapes before for family/friends, or had tapes copied for them by family/friends, perhaps there might be an education in the near future on why exactly file sharing isn’t quite as wrong as they say it is. Hey, a guy can hope, can’t he?

Edit: Let’s try posting this a second time, seeing as my internet decided to pick a minute and a half before I hit post to crap out on me. Don’t do this to me, TekSavvy.

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It’s come to my attention, minister Moore, you aren’t seeing any negative reaction to your and other MPS’ decision to not open the books for a public audit. It has also come to my attention that you believe the media’s continuing to throw it out there despite an apparent lack of pressure from the public to knock it off with the being a moron and spill it. Please allow me a moment of your time to set the record straight.

As a member of the public, albeit not of your constituency, I’m very interested in what it is you folks are spending my tax dollars, as few as they are, on throughout the year. And, I’m actually quite surprised a man as otherwise observant as you are seems to entirely skip right by the fact that I, along with probably a majority of folks who’re actually following this development, am pissed. So, let me just reintroduce you to that minor problem. We give you $500 million of our tax dollars per year, for you to blow in on expenses related to your position. And in return, you provide us with–er–what, exactly?

See, when we ask that question, and we very much are, the correct answer to give us is not “trust me, I’m not breaking the law”. If you see that as the appropriate response to our question, then might I submit that when income tax time rolls around next year, that will be the response I will submit to the Canada Revenue Agency in place of my statement re: how much of my money belongs to you. Because, clearly, if the laws of the land don’t apply to those who make them, why do they apply to me? I believe most folks would refer to it as setting an example.

I will end this post with one more request to please yank your head out of your ass and wake it the hell up. Show us the money, or we’ll be more than happy to show you the door. You’re losing what little respect your ill-fated hockey prediction might have bought you.

Sincerely,
One of many tax payers who is currently considering his own internal board of economy.

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There’s a huge blow-up in Ottawa over one senator deciding to say exactly what, on this ages old debate, a lot of Canadians–at least the ones I talk to, anyway–are thinking. We can’t even seem to make up our own minds on how we plan to deal with abortions within our own borders–there is, at the moment, no real clear law one way or the other on the subject. And now, Canada’s liberal party’s pushing to have a portion of our tax dollars going towards funding abortions overseas, in countries wherein it’s probably no more clearly legal than it is here. Naturally, the pushers were rightly told by senator Nancy Ruth to “shut the fuck up about it”.

Now, before I get half a dozen people commenting on what a cold-hearted asshole I am, which wouldn’t be too far from the truth, let’s put it into some common sense perspective here. I have no problem whatsoever with the whole abortion thing. I, personally, think it should be up to the person(s) involved as to whether or not they want one. As the diehard pro-abortion folks are so fond of saying, yes, it’s your body. So do with it what you want. But if it’s not medically necessary, don’t expect me to willingly pay for it. And if you’re not a Canadian citizen currently in Canada getting a medically necessary abortion, I’ll be even less willing to see my taxes go up–and they in all likelyhood will–to pay for it.

Put even more simply, abortion is not birth control. If you don’t want to get pregnant, try birth control. Or try not having sex. And if you try birth control and still end up getting pregnant, put the kid up for adoption. There’s a lineup of families probably 5 miles deep, and that’s just in Canada, who are perfectly capable of raising a child and yet perfectly incapable of having one. They will thank you. If you want to lower the amount of poor people in third world countries who end up pregnant, make the various methods of birth control available to them for free and/or cheap. But don’t take money from an already negative balance to put towards someone who decides to get an abortion for the simple fact they don’t want to be pregnant. Most especially if that someone who just simply doesn’t want to be pregnant is in Afghanistan or somewhere equally, well, problematic.

So far as this new idea that a package without abortion is not family planning, yes, please do shut the fuck up about it. Particularly if it involves my tax dollars. I already don’t have very many left.

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james Moore, a junior minister in Canada’s federal cabinet, has a real talent for stirring up the politically paranoid. Granted these days it doesn’t take much, but the bar’s officially been set about 5 miles lower as of this week. When asked escentially which team he’d be rooting for in this year’s playoffs, he had the unmitigated gall to pick Vancouver over Montreal. This despite, you know, the fact he lives in BC when he’s not in Ottawa being criticised for his choice of hockey team. Hey, I’m cheering for Vancouver over Montreal too. Is the conservative party still looking for members?

Dear overeasily offended politicos. In the words of one James Moore on Twitter, lighten up. It’s only hockey, not Canada’s economy. No love, a Leafs fan.

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Canada now has its own pirate party registered to run in federal elections, at least as of Tuesday. The tradition started in Europe, where the party got its first European Union seats. As the article explains, the party actually stands for something I can get behind–the legal copying of music and other such items for personal/non-commercial use. Otherwise known as what today calls piracy. Now, let’s see if they can actually get into the House of Commons.

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The budget for 2010 came out on thursday. And, expecting to see a slight improvement in areas that actually matter, I read things over as they came in–because, you know, I’m like that. Sure enough, slight was probably the best way to describe the improvements. Very slight, in some cases. One improvement in particular I was looking out for, since it affects me directly–at least until such time as I can find something I can call work, is Ontario’s disability support program (ODSP). They’ve already drawn my irritation for being among the cheapest of the out of work options currently available to anyone not currently managing just fine through the recession–second only to welfare in its cheapness. And now, they’re managing to become only very slightly less cheap.

In 2009, we saw an increase of approximately 2 percent in payments through ODSP. Which, for me, amounted to a grand total of $20 more on my check. Woopdy do–I can now aford to more easily pay for my hot water tank rental. Go me. This year, and not until fall of this year at that, we get an additional single percentage point increase. Which amounts to another $10. Yay–now I can aford my hot water tank rental, and maybe stuff for sandwitches!

In contrast, at the end of march minimum wage is going to go up roughly 75 cents more per hour–the seventh such increase since 2004. For those keeping score, that leads to a roughly $500 gap between what someone like me who can’t go find a gig flipping burgers on account of not being able to see the grill is making, versus what someone doing the said burger flipping job is making. And yet, they claim ODSP is designed with independence in mind for those who can’t do things like flip burgers or work in construction until something more to their liking comes along. I’d like to see where they get that from.

To their credit, everyone not currently a member of the liberal party is sort of trying to say things of a similar nature–1 percent, is that all? Not that I expect that to do a whole lot of good, so I wrote and sent an email to Ontario’s premier, the minister of community and social services–who oversees the ODSP situation, both opposition party leaders and Pembroke’s MPP–also a member of the conservative party. Those conversations, or what they think passes for conversations, are about to become open letters on this blog. As will every other correspondence that gets sent their way–and there’s going to be others.

I took the advice of another Ottawa area blogger and did the math, and could very easily live on a minimum wage style budget–believe it or not, quite luxuriously actually. I’m in Pembroke, which automaticly means subtract at least $100 from the price tag on just about anything related to actually living–rent, for starters. So my overly luxurious habbits aren’t exactly cause for concern, here. The overly generous habbits of our government, however, now there’s a cause for concern. Can we hit minimum wage before I hit the point of flat busted, please? That’d be appreciated.

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This is clearly the year of the overtaxed Canadian, nevermind what the Chinese say it is. And as always, it starts from the top down.

first off, Canada’s New Democratic Party (NDP) wants to tax any and all new MP3 player purchases. Or purchases of iPods, possibly external hard drives and laptops. Because, you know, everyone who buys one’s a bloody criminal. You’ll note the MP who’s pushing the bill in question calls it a levy. Which, really, is just another way of saying pirate tax. We already have one on blank CD’s and casette tapes, just in case we’d dare buy one and use it for all those songs we legally bought off iTunes. And people wonder why I’m of the opinion free shit’s good shit.

Relatedly in the WTF column, everyone’s favourite Canadian Radio and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) has decided to allow broadcasters and cable/satelite providers to negotiate a fee for carriage. Which, escentially, means cable and satelite subscribers will be paying for the local TV stations we’d be watching anyway. Because, you know, Rogers and company won’t be letting it cut into their profits if they can help it. I don’t know that I’d call it a straight out and out tax, like some of the advertisements I’ve seen about it proclaim, but it’s definitely at the very least an unneeded user fee. And, well, very naive to think any price the two sides agree on won’t be transfered to the consumer. Tax or not, though, it’s not doing a thing to change my mind about watching most of my television for free. But then, maybe that isn’t the point. Oh well.

Not to take the spotlight entirely away from our friends over there in Ottawa, though, but over in the other direction–in Toronto–we have even more reason to scratch our heads and give serious thought to going just a little tiny bit insane. Ontario’s liberals, not exactly known for being easy on our already taxed–literally–wallets, are up to their usual tricks again. This time, in the name of conservation and green energy programs, they’re instituting a tax on electric bills to the collective tune of $53000000. No, my finger didn’t get stuck on the 0. That’s how much they’re thinking will be pulled in by this new hydro tax. The reason for it?

Ontario electricity customers will soon be slapped with an additional tax to cover $53 million of the Liberal government’s new conservation and green energy programs, the Star has learned.

So, it was Dalton McGuinty’s idea to go all energy conservation on us in the middle of a recession, and now residents of Ontario get the bill. Meanwhile we’re still watching the course of the HST torpedo, which is scheduled to hit both Ontario and BC in July and do I have no idea what to the usual household budget. On top of the fact that someone living on a disability pension budget because multiple dozen attempts to get employed somewhere doesn’t make close to minimum wage–there’s a rant in there for another entry later. And people wonder why I’m not a very big supporter of the natural governing party at the moment.

I get that Ontario’s in a little tiny bit of deep crap financially–I have no idea what the NDP’s motives are federally, beyond their favourite word is “tax” (sorry, “levy”). But this just stinks of wicked cheap. Yes, our government’s in the poor house. So are the voters. This one in particular would love a break. Say, like an equal playing field financially. How ’bout it, Dalton? No, didn’t think so. Thanks for trying, though.

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Admittedly, my ability to be politically correct is practically nonexistent. No, I don’t go around dropping n-bombs every 20 seconds, but I haven’t rewritten a large part of my vocabulary to take into account some tiny fraction of the town I live in–who’s population isn’t all that large anyway–might be offended either. And I have no plans to. I also have no plans to do any kind of supporting the latest gem to come out of Ottawa’s parliament.

In yesterday’s throne speech, it was suggested that Canada’s national anthem needs a tiny bit of reworking. Um, what? Specificly, the part that says “all our sons command”. Again, um, what? Now our very own anthem isn’t gender-neutral enough? There’s accomodation and then there’s just overkill. That, well, is just overkill.

It’s been a complete non-issue for as long as I can remember, in spite of the fact we’ve had multiple governments with their own ideas on gender neutrality come in and screw up the country in their own ways. It’s been pretty much exactly the same in that respect, too. Except in the last decade or two it’s been forced bilingual all across Canada, except maybe in Quebec–do they even still sing that one? And now, after it’d been played about 50 billion times during the olympics, there’s talk of rewriting it for gender-neutral purposes. Someone wanna tell them drugs are bad for you?

Hey, if we’re going to rewrite the thing anyway, here’s a thought. Let’s remove or modify that whole “God keep our land” section while we’re at it. Don’t want to offend the non-Christian folks either. Or, you know, we could leave well enough alone and be happy with not having to sing “God save the queen”. I would vote for that option, too. It’s the national anthem–as much a part of Canada as hockey and beer. Don’t mess with it.

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1. to discontinue a session of (the British Parliament or a similar body).

Also known as the double standard affect, if you happen to be a resident of Canada. How so? Explanation is below.

Stephen Harper shut down Canada’s parliament at the end of December–a parliament that would have both resumed on January 25th and been closed at the end of this week for the olympics anyway. And there was a shit storm about it. Anti-proroguers started a website, and a Facebook group against it. Ontario’s Dalton McGuinty prorogues the legislature, and… nope, not a peep. The legislature will resume after the olympics, he says, with a throne speech. The difference? A whole two or three weeks wherein not much would have been accomplished anyway. Well, except for a whole lot of yelling and screaming across the isle in the House of Commons. Which really, while it made for an awesome way to kill the afternoon watching, I’m doing just fine without. And CPAC’s programming isn’t suffering either.

Yes, I’m aware that first link is a CBC article. And yes, I’m aware they’ve kind of screwed up copyright royally, and wasted my tax dollars in the process. They can also shove it.

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I promised myself I wouldn’t do much in the way of political blogging on this site, mostly because it probably ends up being popular with all of maybe 2 people who read. But this one I just couldn’t resist. Stephen Harper is now second in popularity to an onion ring. Rumor has it it will run in the next election on a platform of more Burger King for everyone. Can you tell I’m bored?

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Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading Canada , Albertans will no longer be referred to as ‘Rednecks.’ You must now refer to them as Rocky Mountain/Prairie Canadians.

And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a ‘ BREASTED Canadian.’
2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’
3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’
4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’
5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes ‘ VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a ‘ LOW COST PROVIDER.’

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is ‘ OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’
3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He ‘ INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’
5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s ‘REAR CLEAVAGE.’

And the best thing about it? It’s also employer friendly! Fire me for saying that, your royal prickness er, I mean…

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I’ve always had a passing interest in politics. Following it, reading about it, commenting and/or debating it. I’d like to try my hand at blogging about it. I know at least one of you is going “Good god he wants somewhere *else* to spray his opinionated bs.”. And, well, that’s part of it. But more so, I’m thinking more along the lines of offering a place that could be used as a debating tool. I’m thinking something not too much different from this LJ, except a little bit more professional and, well, not necessarily on LJ. Very much unsensored, beyond the rules of common sense etc. Because really, media outlets and former political party members shouldn’t be the only ones who get to get on a soapbox about crap like this.

It’d cover politics on both sides of the Canada/US border, so if anyone’s interested in helping, I’d be curious to know that as well. Mostly because I don’t know nearly as much as I probably should about US politics. I already have a general idea of how I want to structure the blog, mostly. Now, I just need to know if anyone would read/contribute to it. Because, y’know, a blog written by and read by one person isn’t a very effective blog. See, this is what happens when I’ve been up for a while and up to my ears in news articles.

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You may wake up one morning and see an answer like this in your morning paper.

Dear Mr. President,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing America’s economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. – Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings – Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered – Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing crisis fixed.

It can’t get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress and their constituents pay their taxes…

And yall thought I was blunt/sarcastic/whatever. Not that I haven’t thought this exact same thing for our political system. Wonder if I aughta mail an altered version of this to our beloved Prime Minister?

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After having a quick read at this article about the bank of Canada cutting their interest rate yet again, and all the various… well, shall we say whining that goes about in the comments to it, it sort of left me wondering what the situation would be like on this side of the border if we had our own equivalent to the US’s Barack Obama. Perhaps sans the historical significance of it, because really, even the Americans had to have been getting tired of it after a while But, is someone with his way of thinking what Canada needs to pull itself out of the economical suckerpunch that just slammed into us? Or, perhaps, do we all just need to line up outside the parliament buildings with clubs and say good morning to our fair politicians as they pull up for work?

Edit: On second thought, I’ll take Obama, minus certain members of his staff.

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News to me, but apparently, that’s the thing to do up in here. So says this email I received, one in a long list of them debating whether or not entire school buildings should be redesigned because, ZOMG, outside distractions can interfere with classroom work.

James, I am glad you got to meet some decent teachers in your life. As for not having left-wing tendencies, You are forgiven. Nobody’s perfect. Please, remind me, what did the right ever do for the disabled?

Well, thank you. And now that I have your permission, I will continue going on being realistic (note: I said I was more realistic in my views; she said right wing). I think I might have just figured out why it is no one ever really takes advocacy organizations seriously. Thank god I’m not a member of one.

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A couple of Quebec comedians decided they’d place a call to Sarah Palin. And in doing so, make her think one of them was France’s president. And she fell for itt. No, sorry, tripped and fell for it. The conversation lasted nearly 10 minutes before she was finally clued in that she’d pretty much been had. Um. Zuh? I’d just like to know why it is she or her people figured he’d want to talk to a vice-presidential wanna-be anyway? Blatantly honest question. Are all republicans that… um…well, stupid?

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I’ve been up for just over an hour, give or take. So far as I know I have absolutely nothing whatsoever planned for today, though considering this is me we’re talking about, that could change in like 5 minutes. So, content is nill. Pointless links incoming.

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Only in America can the presidential race come down to each candidate’s health instead of, you know, things you’d typically be voting based on. Like, say, whether or not you’ll be pulling out of Iraq in 2 years or 20. Instead, it’s who’ll end up dead first. Which, well, considering the alternative is miss “the vice president runs the senate”, I suppose it’s just as big a concern as any. But still. Only in America.

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Here’s some drama I’d love to not be anywhere near when it finally explodes. Guy buys a scratched/chipped cell phone off of Ebay, that was supposed to be in good condition and a different model from what he actually got in the mail. So, you’d think the obvious thing to do would be to point it out to the seller, and perhaps to other potential buyers. Someone doesn’t agree. Now, buddy’s being sued by the seller thanks to his negative Ebay feedback. And folks are surprised when I tell them I won’t touch that with a 50-foot pole? Shouldn’t be.

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It’s apparently the week for online things spilling over into real life. Go bloody figure. God, it’s a good thing the closest thing to drama I’ve got going right now is well over 8 hours away from me. Thank God for international borders. Sadly, they don’t apply in a virtual world. A woman goes onto some Second Life equivalent, winds up getting married, and later ends up getting divorced. All online, you understand. Now, at some point her virtual husband trusts her in real life enough to give her his account password for this virtual world site. Enter the law of moronicness. He goes and divorces her, and then doesn’t change his password. She logs into his account, and promptly kills off his character. Then, the lines between imagination and reality sort of disappear for a bit. She winds up arrested for her troubles. Not for murder, though, which I almost expected to be the case, but for hacking into his computer (um, a slightly harder to prove claim, considering). Now, the article itself doesn’t actually say she used his computer to do it, but that’s apparently the charge. Zuh? I dunno.

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This will probably be of interest to a grand total of like 2 people on my flist, one of them undoubtedly being Katie (silly-singer), but oh well. I find it somewhat helpful. I knew about the ITunes and IPod Nano accessibility already, but not the rest of it. Good to know, though. Maybe one of these days when I’m either employed or married to someone who makes a 6-figure income I’ll go shopping. Meantime, though, the geek in me can be happy.

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So tell me, does anyone else south of the border know the vice president is actually in charge of the senate? Perhaps someone aught to let Sarah Palin know she’s a little, um, tiny bit off. Quite probably off her medication, too. I have visions of this girl wondering if Canada’s that place way up north with the ice and snow in freakin’ July. Oh, how I cry for the American education system…

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