Well now, would you look at that. A win, and a rare one at that. Even more so seeing as it’s in overtime. I’d pretty much accepted they’d forgotten how to do that, and then last night, they proved me wrong. Now if I could just work up the energy to smile about it. Unfortunately, it’s still a meaningless win–and probably the only one we’ll see this week.

Last time

We might have threatened at one point to win our last game versus the Bruins. Only problem? We didn’t. Rather, we kind of tried to make it look like we were going to, and then promptly fell apart. Kind of like we did last night, giving up the lead for all but the last goal. Well, I guess what goes down must come up. Still, is it next season yet?

Sigh. Again. We did almost tolerably well. Until the third period. Again. A minute and 16 apart, they managed to throw two behind us–that sunk us. Not that we weren’t sunk before that, but that pretty much guaranteed we weren’t going to be surprised. I used to look forward to the next time we won. Now, I’m just looking forward to the end of the season.

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We shut them out in January. Then went back to sucking. Then came the multidirectional trade. And then, more sucking. Now? We’re in the league’s basement and closing in on the last game of the season. On the bright side, baseball starts up in a month. The bluejays can’t do much worse… can they?

It was a hell of a close game. Sens draw first blood, Leafs somehow manage to come back, lots of people having face first meetings with the boards. Or, in some cases, the opposing team’s fists. And still, even though it was Ottawa, and even though we won–in a shootout on a Kessel goal no less, I don’t feel the excitement I want to feel. Or, even, should feel. There’s maybe 16 games left in the season, at the outside. We’re dead last in the conference, and flirting with dead last in the league. And the game was that tight against a team who’s got half its roster on the sidelines with the flue. And we still played hell not losing. The game had everything an Ontario rivalry could and should have. And I can only shrug.

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I was more excited at the beginning of February, when we shut them out 5 nothing. We’d just landed the trade for Phaneuf, and it looked like we might be staring at a slightly different–more charged up–team. Or maybe they were just fooling us. I can go either way. Right now, though? I’m leaning more towards they were just fooling us. Don’t get too excited, Leafs nation. They’re not done making you sweat yet.

I’ve run out of ways to say it. And we’re running out of games to do otherwise. The 2010 Toronto Maple Leafs, even after a huge as hell trade, are playing basement hockey. I want to blame the olympic break. But, I know better. So, who’s looking forward to 2010-2011?

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Different result in December. Granted, that was 3 months ago–the team’s been halfway decent and three quarters the way to craptastic since then. But, at least they won that one. Consolation for this round? At least it ended in a shootout.

Well, Now that all that excitement’s well over with, back to business as usual. Which, roughly translated, means we up here in the great white north set our sights on another playoff missed. I’m willing to chalk this last game up to just returned from the olympic break. But somehow, I don’t think that’s it.

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We didn’t do any better in January either, getting beaten up on 4 2 instead of Tuesday’s 5 1. Still, at least this time we only sucked very slightly less. And Burkey pulled the trigger on a trade as a result of it. Will it help? Well… it can’t hurt.

Don Cherry said victory was in the bag. Mike called it. I had a sneaking feeling. And on Sunday afternoon, we owned it. It took overtime, but Canada pulled off what we couldn’t even come close to 4 years ago. Ladies and gentlefolks, Canada has done exactly what we were supposed to do–own the podium. I said it before, and I’ll say it again. Suck it, USA. We win.

Canada’s women’s hockey team just nailed us our 8th gold metal of these 2010 olympics, and it came in awesome fashion against the US–something hopefully our men’s team can duplicate when it comes their time. That’s the most gold metals Canada’s received in olympic history, topping our total in 2006. That’s also Canada’s 16th metal overall. No, it wasn’t a blowout–but I’ll take it!

Canada’s womens’ team might not have been playing a metal game, but it was almost as exciting. For a few reasons. This was the first time in olympic history Slovakia had a womens’ hockey team in the tournament–a surprising fact I wasn’t aware of, particularly given how well their mens’ team usually plays. On top of that, an olympic record 18 goals were scored by Canada, including two hat tricks, breaking the previous record that’d been standing since the 1998 olympics. On top of that, they played this game as though it were a metal game–much to the misfortune of the Slovakians. An interesting way to start off the run for gold. Now here’s hoping the mens’ team’s half as lucky.

Fortunately, or not if you’d prefer, I wasn’t able to watch last night’s game. The parents lack Leafs TV and this computer would explode were I to try and get it via the intertubes. So, I watched the opening cerimonies for the olympics instead. Turns out, best decision I could have made. WE got 30 shots on net. And didn’t have a decent scoring chance since the first period–a shot that went off the post. And, for the first time since the trade that rid us of Toskala, we were shut out. Us. The team that was supposed to be improved. I think we need a little more improvement.

We played quite well. I’d even go so far as to say we were awesome. Definitely the better out of the two teams. And we still gave it up. At least we waited until late in yet another third period before we lost all hope of winning. I’d say more, but I’ve run out of ways to say it. The 2010 Toronto Maple Leafs, even post trade, suck. If not at the game, then definitely at this whole winning thing. No, that will not make me start cheering for Ottawa. Even if I’d probably be able to watch more of their games.

I was watching the local CTV Ottawa station last night, and they must have devoted about 10 minutes to just how bad it’d be if the Leafs were the ones to put a stop to Ottawa’s 11-game winning streak. And after that newscast, that’s precisely what they did. Giguere was awesome in net, not that it would have made a whole lot of difference if we’d gone with the monster instead-the awesome was happening in front of him anyway. Kessel nearly managed himself a hat trick I don’t know how many times. Schenn managed to double his season total of 2 goals in one night. And Phaneuf, well, he’s Dion Phaneuf. What the hell more do you want? Ottawa’s owned us for the better part of the last couple years. Last night? We owned them.

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We hadn’t played them since before Christmas, at which point the margin was closer, but we still managed to win. I think that very well might have been the last time I thought we might be playing consistently. I still have my doubts if we are, but I’m trying very hard now to actually find that caring thing I used to do. Instead, I only find anticipation of Monday. When, as is the rule, the other shoe will probably drop. Welcome to Leafs Nation 2010, Dion. Hope your golf swing’s as good as your slapshot.

The Leafs being up 4 nothing in the second against Ottawa reminded me, I’m a lot closer to the game than I often times realize. Just how close, though? If we’re all connected by at most 6 degrees of separation as I’ve been told, I’m connected by 2. My cousin plays for a AA level minor league team, the Upper Ottawa Valley Aces. They recently managed the semi-finals at the International Silver Stick tournament. I heard a rumor, though my google skills do not appear to prove it, that he may have also been called up to the Ottawa 67’s at one point. Growing up, I always wondered what it’d be like to actually have a relative in the NHL–even if I haven’t personally seen that relative since before he could walk. Now, I might just get a chance to know. Just here’s hoping he doesn’t become a Senator.

How in the 7 levels of hell did that happen? Three, yes three, awesomely sweet goals in the second period against yet another olympic goaltender–one playing for team Canada next week, of all things–and we go and give it up. Through most of the game we pretty well owned. I mean, really and solidly owned. Last 4 minutes of the third, and the Devils just got cheap. Hell, for the last couple minutes of the game they played 5 forwards, for crying out loud. There’s not such thing as a bad forward on that team, so you stick 5 out there and we have problems. The 6th they threw on in the last minute didn’t help us either. Ah well, that’s life in Leafs nation. At least we didn’t suck this time.

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Different story 3 days ago in Toronto. We played just as well, and actually managed to nail the two points. Plus, we shut them out. Of course we also had Giguere in net. Not that that might have helped us last night, but hey, the media’s gotta have something to blame.

All the news reports say we won. Even the commentators while I watched last night confirmed it. Mike confirmed it from the third row at the ACC–lucky bastard. So I guess we did. I should be excited. Or, at least surprised. I’m not. In fact, I’m not really anything. As I wrote on Sunday, all I can do is shrug.

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A completely different team barely lost the last trip around that block on Saturday. By then, I’d pretty much already lost that lovin’ feeling for my badly beaten team. Sadly, I haven’t gotten it back yet. Even more sadly, I don’t even care.

We saw it coming from a mile away. Especially after losing 6 in a row and very much being at risk of doing worse than North Carolina. These are potentially huge trades that very much change the overall look, at least on the face of it, of the Team. And yet, it’s just another article to appear in my RSS reader.

Away goes half our forward lineup, with Mayers, stajan and Hagman getting airmailed to Calgary. On the up side, we get a defenseman that’s actually capable of doing something with the puck besides throw it away. We lost Ian White in that trade too, but he didn’t do much last night besides give the damn puck away anyway. In return, the unlikely happened. We actually got someone who could possibly be a good match with Caberle–hello, Dion Phaneuf. Could it possibly be that we might actually have something that calls itself a hockey team now? Again, all I can do is shrug.

In related news, Toronto ditches Deadweight Vesa for J.S. giguere and a pencil to be named later. It cost us Blake, too, but oh well. Hopefully we still have someone who we can stick with the thrill, or it’s gonna be painful. Oh, wait. We’re Leafs fans. We’re used to painful.

I just don’t get it. We had the lead. No, sorry. We ruled the goddamn ice. For half the game. And then we pretty well dumped it. 3 sweet goals in the first, including two Kessels. So what in the bloody hell just happened? We gave up a goal in the second. And 4, count ‘em, 4 in the third. What? Even on our worst night we didn’t do that. Seriously. I missed much of the game, but was able to figure out roughly why it is we managed to, um, not hold a lead–his name is toskala. Stop the season; I want off.

We had a lead. For about a minute ten, we had a lead. And then we sucked. We were tied for a very small part of the game. Briefly at 1, and then again in the third at 4. Overtime killed us again. You know, it’s a strange thing I’ve noticed recently. I’m not even disappointed anymore when we lose. I think I’m kind of used to it. And that, um, scares me.

At least it was an attempt at being a game. Going into the second period we had it tied at 1. Of course, that didn’t last very long–by the end of the third, we’d given up a lead to the Kings and tied it up again. And then we kind of tried to make it interesting in the third, but well, it ended up just hurting. Somehow we managed putting a third in the net, which would have been awesome if they hadn’t already put 3 more there. Way the season goes, Leafs fans. Right down the crapper. At least we have Brian Burke. Right? Right? … Right? Anybody?

I always get this sick feeling in my stomach whenever we play a team that might actually have the slightest chance at maybe being halfway decent. I have no idea why. Well okay, I do have an idea why, I just don’t want to talk about that right now. Instead, I’ll just resign myself to the fact that that’s the reason we did absolutely nothing productive last night. I mean, yes, we got 39 shots on net. But we got nothin’. Not even a penalty shot that could be reversed and made into an opposing team goal. Instead, we’ve won an impressive 1 game on this road trip we’re on, and come home more battered and bruised than when we left. Sound like the story of our lives as Leafs fans yet? I thought so.

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Compare last night’s game with 2 and a half weeks ago, when we actually won by a slim margin. Huge difference in performance and outcome. I mean, it was a win, and it was barely so, but I was expecting it to be another round of oh my god do we ever suck. Instead, we were treated to a surprising dose of oh my god we might only be craptastic. Nope, we definitely suck. Thanks for reminding me. Now, back to waiting for a team we can beat consistently.

I think we might have forgotten how to play again. At least for about 4 minutes in the third period. We had the game. Had it. Right up until a stupid penalty and our craptastical penalty kill had a chance to suck. It was tied when the third managed to close out. Overtime, we usually do slightly better in. Usually. But then we don’t usually take stupid too many men on the ice calls either. Not even 30 seconds left in the game, not even 10 seconds left in the game, and they throw one in on a power play that shouldn’t have happened. And they wonder why it is we place bets on who’ll do worse than them. My uncle, while we were out for coffee last night, seemed surprised we were in second last. My response? At least we’re not in last.

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We played a little better in November, of course that was the we could actually play consistently. Managing 4 3 I actually sort of considered the possibility that we might have then been turning around after an ultra crappy start. I’d like to point out, just for the record, I was mistaken. Stick a fork in this team… I think we’re done.

It was almost a good game. Almost. right up until the third. even Toskala looked kind of like an NHL goaltender. Then we started into our usual suckitude. We lead 2 0 after 1. They managed to tie it up in the second, but we hadn’t gotten completely outplayed yet. We saved that trick for the final frame. They put another two on us, leading 4 2. Well over halfway through the period, we somehow managed to get one back. Might have gotten them both, but in the last few minutes of the game a shot that had nothing but net waiting for it bounced off a Leafs player’s ass. And, of course, didn’t go anywhere near the bloody net. That’s the 2009-2010 season in a nutshell for us, folks. Of course, if we could actually stay awake during the third period we might not have needed to curse the fact that shot didn’t end up going in. I think I can count the good defensive plays on one hand. And offense? Well, not really. The bright spot was a stupid cross-checking penalty in the last minute of the game–which, of course, we couldn’t take advantage of. It’s nights like that when I ask myself why I turn on the game. But, goddammit, I’m Leafs fan. Almost diehard. Which, yes, means I get to sit there, watch a crappy game, then come online and bitch about the said crappy game. But, because I’m *almost* diehard, I can still find that little bit of realism here. And, realisticly? We suck.

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we did better back in December, holding them to just 2 goals while we managed to sneak 5 past them. How we managed that I don’t really remember, if I ever knew at all. I don’t think I did. But whatever it is we had during that game, can we please go back and find it? It’d make me less likely to get drunk during the next one.

The thrill did it again. Exactly what we’re paying him to do. Tied at 3, going into the third. Just over 5 minutes left, he blows one through to close it out. If I’d actually remembered to watch the whole game I’d have probably been surprised as hell. As it is, I’m still to this day trying to figure out why in the 7 levels of hell Nashville has a hockey team. But, they do. And we nailed them. Now if only that actually counted. Ah well, can’t have everything.

I figured the Flyers thing wouldn’t carry over against Washington. Even though we smacked them around twice before already, but apparently we were due. By all appearances–well, according to everything I could get my hands on re: that particular game anyway, we ended up pretty flat last night. Did they spend 12 hours in the emergency room too?

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We doubled them up in December pretty good, ending up coming out on top in a 6 3 game. And we kept their new captain off the board that night as well, I believe. Can’t say that for last night. Oh well, what do you expect during a week when Toskala of all people actually gets–and earns–a shutout?

I had to check that score twice. No, wait, three times. Really? There’s a 0 in the Flyers column? Against Toronto? No, sorry, against Toskala? For serious? Reality, meet fiction. That just doesn’t happen with this team. Now, if we were playing Carolina… wait, nevermind. That doesn’t happen with them either. It would be worth noting if I thought we’d do anything with it.

Last Time

We sucked last time we played them. Overly so. We looked more like a team deserving of the league’s basement–accurate, considering where we are in the standings. Definitely not worthy of a 4 0 win. Philadelphia must have all called in sick. Only explanation. Not that I’m complaining by any means…

someone please tell me what happened? We had an awesome game going into the third. Absolutely awesome. Down 1 0 in the first, we came back to knot it up before the end of the period. We jumped ahead in the second, although that didn’t last all too long before Carolina tied it up again. Then the final 20 minutes showed up, and… I don’t think we did. We seemed like we were getting outplayed. And in the last 5 minutes of the game, they managed to get ahead of us. An empty-netter cieled it, not that it was needed. Damn shame, too–I do believe we managed nearly 50 shots on goal this time around, for what little good that did us. Happy 4-game losing streak, Leafs Nation!

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We faired a little better in our last game againnt Carolina, losing 6 4. That was a hell of a game to be watching, for sure. I mean, this one was good except for the third, but that seemed to have more of the team I thought I’d see all year. Wonder what happened to them. Has anyone found them yet? Brian Burke would like to know.