The Maple Leafs have had more than their share of missing parts over the past two seasons but they are about to get their first captain since the retired Mats Sundin wore the “C” for the embattled franchise.

And it couldn’t happen to a more visible defenseman. The Toronto tradition of importing our captains continues. Congrats, Dion. Just pleas god don’t stop being the awesome.

Also: does this mean Caberle’s days as a Leaf just got a whole lot more numbered? I do recall something about him maybe being the next captain at some point. Guess it’s not now.

A couple Canadian residents living in the US, upon Canada’s winning of the gold metal against the US during the olympics, took it upon themselves to replace a US flag with a Canadian one in response to a bet they’d entered into in a bar. In response to that, they were promptly arrested and charged. The excuse? The US flag was apparently damaged. So apparently, accidentally banging the flag up a little–if it was even these two who did it at all–is an offense worthy of being taken to court over. And all because of a little olympic fun. Sounds like someone doesn’t take too kindly to losing. Clearly, if you’re proud of your country, you’re not allowed to show it–unless your country is the US. Now that’s patriotism. And folks wonder why it is I shake my head at what goes on down there sometimes.

The blackhawks hadn’t won the Stanley cup since 1961. My Leafs haven’t won the cup since 1967. Near the end of the playoffs, chants of “1967! 1967!” sounded off amongst blackhawks fans. For that, I offer a hearty thank you. The cup was won in 6, by the Hawks, apparently fairly easily. This gives us the longest current running stretch wherein we haven’t had our hands on the cup. And one more very good reason to turn this thing around. Now, if we can just get our hands on decent players without costing us draft picks. Hey, anyone want Caberle? I hear he’s going cheap. Congratulations, Chicago. Get a move on, Toronto.

When I was in highschool, I wrote an essay on those people I considered to be highly influencial Canadians. I don’t even remember exactly what the content of the essay was, and I’m not sure I even still have the original copy. One of the topics in question was hockey awesomeness personified, Gordie Howe. And why not? The man made most players today look like the kind you’d see in a rookie league. More than his share of Stanley cups, MVP nods, and still the model of comparison folks use when describing what could be the next great player in the league. Now, he’s not just the guy they call Mister Hockey–he’s an honorary doctor of law thanks to the university of Saskatchewan. I may not have the original essay, but I still remember the awesome that was doing the research on him. The awesome continues. Congratulations, doctor Hockey. You still rule.

It started out innocently enough, when I got a front row seat to the Sens’ big choke. Then, contrary to the predictions of one politician who I’m right now sort of at odds with, Vancouver got stomped rather soundly. And, just to drive the point home, Montreal bought it in the finals–okay, I’ll admit, that last one was very satisfying. At first I thought the hockey gods had simply decided Canada was–yet again–undeserving of lord Stanley’s mug. Turns out, I was wrong.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Canada already proved we were entirely too awesome to handle. And we did it back in February. The gold metal performance in Vancouver for the 2010 winter olympics is Canada’s Stanley cup. It also just so happens to be the most watched thing on TV in recent history. And, yes, it just so happens to be sitting on my computer for my rewatching pleasure–deal with it, MPAA. Let the flyers and blackhawks handle each other for the privelege. This year, we don’t need no stinkin’ Stanley cup. We’ve got olympic gold.

It only took until way, way too late, but Montreal went sideways at the hands of the Flyers last night. The joy in this apartment could have filled a stadium. Even more so after reading some of the headlines this morning. All I’ll say, and I’ll say it again, is it’s a very good thing one commenter on Mike’s blog, who was perhaps even more of a diehard fan than me if that were even possible, didn’t take the bet I’d proposed in the comments to an entry. I’d highlight the extent of her diehardness, but–well–that’s already been done. Happy trails, Montreal. We’ve got the course right next to ours reserved for ya.

This is the perfect situation for a Montreal Canadians meltdown. They haven’t won the cup since 93. No team has come back from being down 3 games to none in a series since 1975. Prior to that, it was since 1942–the 1942 Maple Leafs, to be exact. Boston had a stranglehold on the series going into game 4, whereas the Penguins weren’t quite so fortunate against Montreal–I still have no idea how it is the Canadians pulled it off without cheating. In the last possible moment, Boston went from hero to zero in 60 minutes. And the Flyers managed to surprise the hell out of just about everyone who isn’t a diehard fan of the team. On Friday, in the seventh game of the series, boston was sent golfing. On Sunday, Flyers versus Canadians, game 1 will fill my living room television. And I will be toasting every Flyers goal between now and the end of the conference finals. Go Flyers go!

In a twist that could only be carried out on TV–until this week, anyway–Vancouver gets tossed out on Tuesday, and on Wednesday, Montreal puts the Penguins on ice. This after just about everyone pretty much ruled the latter out of the playoffs after, say, the last game of the season. The explanation is a simple one–Montreal cheated. Has to be it, really.

Starting this weekend, I will renew with much more effort my own participation in the No habs No campaign. For every goal scored against Montral in the conference finals, I will permit myself the enjoyment of one more vodka and coke through the duration of the particular game(s). By the end of the series, I will either be very drunk, or very disappointed. Or maybe both, if they end up dragging it out to seven games and winning again–bastards. Either way, it’ll be quite fun. Anyone wanna join me?

Canada’s team got walked over on Tuesday. I mean, really walked over. In the clearest demonstration of the hockey gods’ hatred of us, Vancouver is now a member of the golfing elite. Yes, this means the only team north of the border still in the playoffs is those other people. I may be wrong, but I don’t think “No Habs No” is having quite the affect it was intended to have…

There be a nasty little rumour floating around that says there’s a tentative schedule being poked at that shows a potential team–possibly formerly from Phoenix–in Winnipeg. It’d join the same division as Vancouver, which I do believe is where the last team to call Winnipeg home was based out of. If the schedule’s an accurate representation, it’s about time. Here’s an entry I wrote on it at the end of march when thoughts of moving to Winnipeg made their fifty-thousandth appearance. It’s still valid.

Again, I’m late to the party. Again, I’ve been insanely busy. And again, Detroit doesn’t do a whole lot in the playoffs. Gone in the second round, at the hands of San Jose. Who, er, might get a shot at playing Chicago unless Vancouver picks up their socks. The fun never stops.

james Moore, a junior minister in Canada’s federal cabinet, has a real talent for stirring up the politically paranoid. Granted these days it doesn’t take much, but the bar’s officially been set about 5 miles lower as of this week. When asked escentially which team he’d be rooting for in this year’s playoffs, he had the unmitigated gall to pick Vancouver over Montreal. This despite, you know, the fact he lives in BC when he’s not in Ottawa being criticised for his choice of hockey team. Hey, I’m cheering for Vancouver over Montreal too. Is the conservative party still looking for members?

Dear overeasily offended politicos. In the words of one James Moore on Twitter, lighten up. It’s only hockey, not Canada’s economy. No love, a Leafs fan.

Last Wednesday, Montreal somehow managed to survive long enough to give Washington the boot. That netted them a matchup against the Penguins this week–and they’re even in the series at a game a piece. Montreal. In the second round. And not staring at elimination yet. Um. What? Okay, I get that the hockey gods despise me right now. But must they be so overly cruel? Really? I know I’m kind of looking forward to an original team cup final… but… Montreal? I’d really rather not.

Speaking of teams you don’t expect to see in the playoffs, enter Phoenix. Beginning of the year, they were pretty much losing money, and the only reason they weren’t sold to a Canadian owner and set up to move is the NHL’s apparent anti-Canada bias. End of the year, they’re still losing money, still probably going to end up being sold and/or moving, and now, they can count themselves among the playoffs’ casualties. Not that a Stanley cup final featuring Phoenix wouldn’t have been fun to watch, but… come on. It’s Phoenix. As in, Arizona. As in, desert country. What’s a hockey team even *doing* there? Besides golfing this week, I mean. Good try, Coyotes. Wanna move yet?

File this under massive underestimations. I didn’t even think Nashville would manage to make it into the playoffs this year. They didn’t make it past the first round, mind you, but they beat my expectations. Now, if they can just knock San Jose around a little, we’ll be a step closer to an original conference final. SWeet would be an understatement.

In my one-person household, we have a problem. It’s baseball season, and Toronto’s actually doing… well… decently. It’s alsp playoff season, and Montreal still needs to be shown the door–something I’d like to be able to watch. Unfortunately, while my multitasking ability is awesome, my TV’s isn’t. So I missed the playoff style drop kick handed to Buffalo thanks to Boston on Monday night. But, as I’ve shown previously, just because I missed it by 4 days doesn’t mean I can’t have my own little cellebration. So long, Sabres. You were good in the regular season–just not good enough for the postseason. I’d say I’ll miss ya, but well… no.

The Kings won’t be doing much else hockey related ’til next year. Vancouver took care of that on Sunday, giving me something besides Montreal to cheer for. I never thought I’d say it–thank you so very much, Vancouver. You’ve made my year.

I don’t get to stand in front of my TV screaming in victory yet–Montreal’s still in the playoffs. But, thank bloody God, Ottawa’s done. Their quest to choke in the Stanley cup finals died on Saturday. Yes, and I’m just now getting around to posting about it–I’ve been busy, okay?

In 2007, Ottawa sat tied at 3 games with the team formerly known as the Mighty Ducks in the Stanley cup finals. The city was freaking insane, to put it nicely–Ottawa in the finals just doesn’t happen. I called in sick to work that night just so I could watch the seventh and final game, but not for the same reason nearly everyone else who could have gotten out of work did. While they were seated in front of their TV’s screaming for a Sens victory, for the first time in my life, I cheered for the Ducks. And, in the dying minutes of overtime, I wasn’t disappointed. It’s sad, but true. Like the song says, the Stanley cup will never go to Ottawa. But, think positive, boys. The Leafs have your usual course reserved already.

I’ve been concentrating on other things besides hockey for the last several days, a trend that I think is gonna continue today–I have some employment resource thing to get to in a couple minutes. So it figures I miss seeing the Devils get their season handed to them along with their ass. I was kind of hoping Montreal would be the first on the golf course–my poor Leafs could use some lessons there. Ah well. At least I can take some comfort in the fact Ottawa’s gone. But, that gets its own post when I come back–if I don’t forget. I’m horrible for that these days.

After sitting down to watch the Montreal toronto game last Saturday, I was rendered completely speechless for pretty much the entire week. Hence, no posts up here. You know it’s bad when we can’t even win properly to help ourselves. But we had a wicked as hell chance to screw someone out of a shot at the second season. Not just anyone, either, but a team we hate only slightly more than those goddamn Senators. Montreal only needed a single point to get into the playoffs. One. single. point. All we had to do was not fall completely apart in regulation and they’d be golfing on the course right behind us. We didn’t even manage to do that. Okay, so we still won, even if it was in OT, someone will likely argue. And they’re right. It just would have been nice if I didn’t for the next week or so at least have to hear about it every time Montreal pulls off a playoff win. It’s already bad enough we have to hear about Ottawa. Oh wel. As we in Leafs nation always say, there’s always next year.

I thought about watching last night’s game. Really, I did. For all of about half a second. Instead, I turned my attention to the Bluejays (they won, by the way). As opposed to our hockey team. It was over in the first period. Indeed, it could probably be argued it was over in about the first 20 seconds. Looking for an up side here. Hmm. Let’s see. Well, Dion Phaneuf scored. Once. And that’s it. Yeah, I got nothin’. God I hope the Canadians don’t make the playoffs. Really, I do. I’d hope the same for Ottawa, but well, it didn’t do me any good before. Okay, back to following baseball.

Three periods of semi-okay play, plus three periods of decent goaltending, plus this being Toronto’s hockey team equals a toronto loss. It’s how things have gone all season, and it’s how things went last night. And it’s probably going to go the same way next year. In well over 40 years of rebuilding for another stanley cup run, it’s never been quite this painful. And by never, I mean in my admittedly not very long, comparatively, memory. Pretty sad, though, when I don’t even believe my mother was born the last time they actually made it to the cup. Yeah, we need a new team. Is Phoenix still up for sale?

We actually played halfway decently. Outshot them, spent more time in their end than our own, and at the end of the game, we pretty much owned them like nobody’s business. Except, um, well, we didn’t. That’s the way the season crumbles. I won’t even do a last time comparison here–there is none. I mean, we beat them, but that’s about it. We didn’t play quite the same way we did on Saturday. Or maybe that’s the secret… hmm. Something to ponder during the off season, perhaps.

How often does this happen? After pretty much getting owned, rather solidly, all season by the boys across the border, we actually showed up and put on a pretty good show of not getting swept for the season. And this against a goaltender that pretty much stoned us every chance he got–which was every game except the one on thursday. Which, by the way, I was forced to miss on account of my parents not getting Leafs TV, on which it was apparently broadcast, and me being required to house sit for the evening, but that’s neither here nor there. We played a team literally a game away from locking up the division. And we didn’t get spanked. Now, if only that meant we’d be in the playoffs. But, can’t have everything. Now reserving spots on local golf courses. Maple Leafs get in half price–provided they can nail the Canadians. Deal? Hey, I tried.

Last time

For the second consecutive meeting between the two teams, this one back in January, we got our butts kicked. Not by much, but enough that it was painful. Of course, not nearly as painful as the realization that the team just plain wasn’t going to get a whole lot better this year, but still. On the bright side, I like the look of the Sabres on the losing end of a game for a change. Say, can we do that again, boys? Might make next season a little more fun.

Okay, all you non-Leafs fans can say it. As of now, Toronto is officially mathematically eliminated. Not that anyone who’s actually been following the team expected it to be any different. Lord knows since about January or so I haven’t been. And Tuesday’s game? Well, that pretty much underlines why. We played halfway decently. The only thing that didn’t happen is the goaltender didn’t manage to stand on his head. And nearing halfway through the third period, we pretty much got screwed. It wasn’t for lack of trying, though–we all but threw ourselves at the net, especially in the last minute or so of the game after emptying ours. And we still couldn’t force an overtime.

Last time

Different night, different story. This one did get forced into overtime. And we actually managed, though I still have no idea how, to land the two points. Ah well, we had a few years of making the playoffs. It’s only fair we have a few where we don’t. See you on the golf course, boys. And don’t worry; I’m sure Ottawa and Montreal will be right behind you.