Never let it be said that Britney spears doesn’t have some talent.

She may be virtually incapable of actually carrying a tune, and she may not be able to write her way out of a paper bag if she was handed an instruction manual on exactly what not to do when trying to be lyrical. Hell, she may or may not even be a borderline mental basket case who really aughta be in an institution rather than a tour bus. But clearly one thing people who can’t stand her existence don’t get to say is there’s not some degree of talent there. After all, her music was chosen as Samali Pirate Defense.

The tactic is used when suspected pirates ignore initial instructions to move away from cargo ships, and the pop princess’ songs were chosen as research showed she is the marine bandits’ least favourite singer.

British Merchant Navy officer Rachel Owens, who guides ships through the dangerous seas, tells The Sun newspaper, “As soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney they move on as quickly as they can. Her songs were chosen by security accompanying tankers because they thought the pirates would hate them most.”

Other than potentially being a human rights violation, and other than the crazy chick still gets air time–but for a good cause, of course–I’m not seeing much in the way of problems, here. No one dies, Britney’s presumedly being well paid for her services, and someone who isn’t me gets to put up with the junk on repeat. everybody wins. Well, except maybe the Samali pirates who’d have probably just preferred they were shot and done with, but eh. Nothing’s perfect.

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