James 1, Greyhound sucks.

So. Road trip planning adventures took another turn this week. I called into the greyhound station last thursday or friday, and telephone monkey told me I should have no problem purchasing a round trip ticket to go see Jessica (samari76) over her thanks giving next week. I get to the station yesterday, and right off the bat I have this feeling like it’s gonna go nowhere fast. We get this middle-eastern fuck who probably should have been running a mob operation, not sitting behind the counter at a bus station, and from the get go he’s giving off the appearance of a guy who really can’t be bothered blowing a few precious minutes talking to such lowly individuals as Trish’s husband and myself. I’d say something, he’d start talking literally before I even got half of what I was saying out of my mouth. Then he’d walk away. While I’m still talking, mind you. Eventually, he ended up coming back, saying he can’t put the round trip through to there and there’s nothing we can do about it. Trish’s husband speaks up, and again, buddy turns around and walks off before he’s finished. He comes back and says the same thing. I start to tell him well fine, so we’ll make it 3 distinct transactions. I know they can do that, because out of boredom I worked it out online and it didn’t fall over on me. But again, the little prick cuts me off and says they can’t put it through. Trish’s husband suggested we grab someone from security, or a manager, but truth be told, and this coming from someone who’s not usually the type to swing first and ask questions later, if I’d stuck around there trying to get a word in edgewise with this guy much longer, I’d of probably slugged him one. To add to the mix a little bit, he gave off the impression that the best thing that could happen to him that evening was if the two of us just turned around and headed for the door. And we both sort of got the feeling that if there weren’t additional people standing about there, he’d of probably come out from behind that counter and helped us do just that. So we took off, and I promptly tried to go at it again online. Of course, their system choked on itself again and wouldn’t let me do what I wanted. So this afternoon, after giving myself time to cool off so I wouldn’t blow up at the first person to answer the phone, I called back. This time, I very carefully explained exactly what I wanted to do. And again, the telephone monkey told me they couldn’t do the round trip option. No duh, that’s not what I was after. Siiiigh. So I explained it again. I planned instead to make 3 separate ticket purchases. One directly from Ottawa to Rochester, since the system would let me do that. Then on the return, I’d purchase a one-way from Rochester to Toronto, and one from Toronto to Ottawa. I think a lightbulb clicked on at that point, as she very quickly was all “oh yeah, well that shouldn’t be a problem at all”. So we go back to the station tonight, and explain it exactly the same way to the guy at the counter. At least this guy seems to have half a brain, because his first reaction wasn’t to go chat it up with his coworkers for a couple minutes and pretend to be confirming something. Still, first thing he does, even though I told him it wouldn’t work, is try to run the round trip option. No dice. No shit. Then, I explain it to him again. Now he wants to argue with me because the system won’t let me purchase a ticket from the US unless I’m in the US. And because it’s going to a different destination than I’m leaving from, he can’t do it. Siiigh, again. People suck. So I explain to him, in even simpler terms. When I leave Ottawa, I’m transferring in Toronto, and then carrying on to Rochester. He got that part, apparently. When I come back, I’m gonna do the *exact* same route, only in reverse. So I need a one-way ticket from Rochester to Toronto. He starts to talk over me again, and I just shake my head and finish what I’m saying. That half a brain must have kicked in at that point, because as soon as I told him I was also getting a ticket from Toronto to Ottawa, he seemed to instantly know what I was talking about. Well. Now that we’ve got that cleared up. Next came the actual purchase, which turned out to be hella easier than the explanation. A total of 3 transactions later, which was exactly what I expected, and I walked out of there with a vacation plan, and the means with which to do so. So, long story short, I’m stateside for a week or so starting on this coming Tuesday. Like this trip I took at the end of August, I leave here at about 2:30, more or less, and show up in Rochester at about quarter past Midnight. I get back to Ottawa late on Sunday like no one’s business, but oh well, that would be life. As per usual when I go out of town, I’ll have cell/texting capability. Email will have to wait ’til I get to the other end though. Next time, I’ll just do my purchasing through the computer and skip the having to explain myself to people altogether. Things go a whole lot easier/faster when I hand the service monkeys a couple of reference numbers and all they have to do is not screw up printing off the tickets.

Oh, and PS: Greyhound, you fail at everything from accessibility to customer service.

1 comment
  1. Holy crap! In general, I’ve had pretty good experiences with travel type customer service people, but I try to avoid them at all costs. I think you did pretty well on the restraint factor, I don’t know if I’d’ve been quite as tolerant towards the end.

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