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Ladies, gentlemen and innocent little children, for the first time all night I actually have a couple minutes–note: certain people’s possibly not yet received emails will have said 30 seconds… that was earlier–wherein I’m not currently trying my best to explain to some moron that his computer is not, in fact, busted because that’s some wicked evil scheme Dell has designed to force you to buy a new one when your warranty expires. Although that would serve some of these idiots right. There are currently 9 people waiting for calls. And of those 9, I am proud to be one. Sweet, jesus, hell, yes. Why couldn’t my night *start* like that? That’d be awesome.