Happy June! ‘N such.

This is what happens when I can’t come up with a more creative title. But… who’s counting? Ordinarily I’d be up to my eyeballs in calls… but… thank the gods for system outages, now it’s “we’re updating, call back tomorrow”. And I get paid to just sit here and be all kinds of cute. Or… at least… all kinds of lazy. Lazy is good. Coffee is good. I have no coffee. Entertainment is good. And speaking of entertainment…

Recently the following undocumented Windows 95 error codes were found. Microsoft forgot to explain them in the manuals, so they will be spread via the Internet.
WinErr: 001 Windows loaded – System in danger
WinErr: 002 No Error – Yet
WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error – Your mistake is now in every file
WinErr: 004 Erroneous error – Nothing is wrong
WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted – System confused
WinErr: 006 Malicious error – Desqview found on drive
WinErr: 007 System price error – Inadequate money spent on hardware
WinErr: 008 Broken window – Watch out for glass fragments
WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered – God knows what has happened
WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow – Mailbox full
WinErr: 00B Inadequate disk space – Free at least 50MB
WinErr: 00C Memory hog error – More Ram needed. More! More! More!
WinErr: 00D Window closed – Do not look outside
WinErr: 00E Window open – Do not look inside
WinErr: 00F Unexplained error – Please tell us how this happened
WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our developers
WinErr: 011 Window open – Do not look outside
WinErr: 012 Window closed – Do not look inside
WinErr: 013 Unexpected error – Huh ?
WinErr: 014 Keyboard locked – Try anything you can think of.
WinErr: 018 Unrecoverable error – System has been destroyed. Buy a new one. Old Windows licence is not valid anymore.
WinErr: 019 User error – Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten – Please reinstall all your software. We are terribly sorry.
WinErr: 01B Illegal error – You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.
WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error – Uncertainty may be inadequate.
WinErr: 01D System crash – We are unable to figure out our own code.
WinErr: 01E Timing error – Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.
WinErr: 01F Reserved for future mistakes of our developers.
WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes – Additional errors will be lost.
WinErr: 042 Virus error – A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the
virus will be activated again.
WinErr: 079 Mouse not found – A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue.
WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow – Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded.
WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
WinErr: 683 Time out error – Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.
WinErr: 815 Insufficient Memory – Only 50.312.583 Bytes available

Exposed! Now the mystery of the later operating systems has been uncovered! Too bad they didn’t do much better with the ridiculousness of the OS’s until XP. Ahem… *cough cough* I’m getting paid to say the exact opposite. But if you’re reading this blog, you probably weren’t on the phone with me as a Dell employee so… um… deal with it. 😉
Yes, I was bored. Again… blame the fact I can’t actually help people with 95% of what they call me about. Go tool outage!

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