Things you learn whether you want to or not…

  • No matter how well trained the dog, if s/he doesn’t want to come in, s/he isn’t going to come in, no matter how much quieter it would be outside without him/her barking at random neighbours, neighbours’ dogs, neighbours’ children, and passers by on the street, or any combination of the 4.
  • In the event you can actually get said dog in (see: bribery), you will have until the next neighbour,neighbour’s dog, neighbour’s child, or random passer by catches his/her attention to *keep* him/her in the house.
  • Upon successful bribery, said dog will park his/her rear in front of the counter while you produce some type of food, healthy or otherwise, to compensate for the enjoyment you have deprived him/her of by not letting him/her bark at the above mentioned people, places and things or combinations of them. Toys will just not do.
  • Dogs are remarkably similar to children, when you remove the barking at the already twice mentioned and once referenced people, places and things. You may now question whether or not you want children. Though the cuteness factor may sway you one way or the other.

I need more things to do during the day.

2 comments
  1. Holy kraut, James! You had me laughing so hard! You made me remember what it was like to have a dog!! Thanks for the smiles!

  2. Hehe. Now, look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong and I’ll still call you a liar. 🙂

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